Several weeks ago I was struggling with self-loathing. It was right before Conference, and I was feeling fat, ugly and weak. Instead of beating myself up, I decided to do something about it. Well, I didn't exactly do something as much as I planned for doing something. I went onto Groupon and bought a voucher for six weeks of unlimited boot camp sessions. After my purchase I felt victorious, as if I had made an important first step. I celebrated my decision with a cupcake.
I managed to avoid redeeming the Groupon, citing end of the school year chaos and travel issues. I kept telling myself that July would be the perfect time to embark on my boot camp adventure. It is amazing how empowered I felt without actually working out! Simply knowing that I would begin, on an arbitrary date in the future change my life, made me feel strong and together.
Looking at the calendar earlier this week, I realized that July starts today. Yikes! All of a sudden the anxiety of my commitment enveloped me. Not one to walk away from a bargain, I redeemed the Groupon yesterday.
I tried to contain my composure as I prepared for my first boot camp class, but to be honest I was terrified. I haven't taken a proper exercise class in years, and the promise of sweat and work had me feeling overwhelmed. But I was also oddly excited to change my body and to become stronger.
There is no doubt about it, the class was difficult. I worked harder and sweated more than I ever have in the past. I was proud of myself for keeping up with my experienced, and able-bodied classmates. My moves weren't as smooth, my squats weren't as deep and my running wasn't as fast as my classmates, but I was there and I was definitely sweating.
Everything was okay until minute 28 of our 30 minute class. I was skipping and felt discomfort in my leg. I tried to walk and instantly knew that I had a problem. I removed my prosthesis and discovered the culprit.
I completely wore through my liner! Without the cushioning provided, I was not able to continue walking let alone finish my work out. I was forced to abandon camp at minute 28 due to a prosthetic issue.
Sometimes being an amputee, dependent upon equipment working correctly in order to be mobile, simply stinks! I was frustrated that I had to quit class so close to the end. Truth be told, I was furious with my limb loss as I drove home. I felt discouraged by my equipment failure.
It took a new liner and a few hours before I felt better about the situation. I have never worked through a liner before, so yesterday was a milestone event for me. Assuming that I can coax my extraordinarily sore legs and bum to move me upright off the couch, I am going to tackle boot camp again. Wish me luck in my quest to reach minute 30!