I'm so happy that today is Friday. While we don't have any plans for the weekend, I am in desperate need of disconnecting and relaxing. I'm still reeling from the drama with my brother, and I haven't had much of an opportunity to decompress.
My brother is in jail, which continues to stir the odd concoction of emotions of both relief and grief. I keep imagining him incarcerated and my heart breaks. Then I give myself a reality check about the individual that he has become and I am glad that he cannot hurt anybody. I continue to hope that this time will allow him to heal and begin to recover from his demons. I feel helpless because, when it comes down to it, nobody can fight this battle but him.
Over the past few days, I have come to the realization that I am investing too much of my own energy into fretting and worrying about a situation beyond my control. I can't fix my brother, nor can I change his current situation. I need to focus on my own life and put my energies towards situations which I can impact.
This weekend I am going to actively work towards relaxing and rediscovering my happiness. (The fact that I have to work to relax is an indication of how psychologically involved I have become with the situation.) I have to reconcile the brother of my past with the present. I'm not sure how to do this, but I need to figure it out!