Happy 16th Ampuversary

Today is my Ampuversary. 

It was 16 years ago this morning that Scott and I made that difficult drive to the hospital for my amputation. When I think about it, I can close my eyes and I can easily recall the emotions I felt leading up to the surgery. Of course, those emotions are uncomfortable to experience so I prefer avoidance and distraction whenever possible.

I am having a rough time wrapping my head around the reality that I've been an amputee for 16 years. My life is so incredibly different than it was in 2003. Today, perhaps more than any other day, I am acutely aware that my life would not be what it is today if I hadn't made that difficult choice to amputate.

If I had not had my amputation, I know that I would not have been able to be a Mom. I would not be working with the limb loss community and I would not have had the wonderful experiences and memories with new friends. The pain was simply too great to enjoy my life.

In the years leading up to my amputation, I was living in debilitating pain. Relying upon a crutch and pain medication to get through the day, I wasn't able to really live my best life. Amputating my broken limb has allowed me to live life without pain. Although I still feel discomfort and a different set of frustrations, the impact is minimal compared to my pre-amputation life. 

I don't know what my life would have been had I not had my foot crushed, but I do know that I love my life today. My life plan never included living without a limb, but I also never imagined that I would have had the experiences, friends, and opportunities that I have had since becoming an amputee.

The lens with which I see my world is different because of my amputation, but different does not insinuate that the view is negative. I am more secure and confident because I survived and adapted to what felt overwhelming and impossible 16 years ago.  Happy Ampuversary to me!