Laid Back

As anticipated, yesterday was an extremely laid back holiday. We had toyed with the idea of going to the pool for a few hours in the afternoon, but Scott and Timmy ended up taking long naps. It has been a long time since Timmy has taken a nap, so I took the opportunity to get some work done.  It was strange having the house so quiet in the middle of the afternoon, but I was grateful for the ability to concentrate without interruption.  

Robby, my little entrepreneur, decided to take advantage of the holiday traffic through our neighborhood by setting up a lemonade and cookie stand at the entrance to our development. He and his friend Rowan worked their business throughout the afternoon and each pocketed a nice little profit for their efforts. Spurred by their success, the pair are already planning other money making adventures for the summer and fall traffic.  

Having a holiday in the middle of a work week feels anti-climactic and odd. Maybe it is because we didn't do anything celebratory, but it was hard to distinguish that yesterday was anything special. With the exception of the constant bangs and flashes of fireworks through the sky all night, I might have forgotten it was the Fourth of July.

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Fourth of July!

With no real plans, this year we are having a laid back holiday. We will probably go to the pool for a few hours and throw some burgers on the grill for dinner. I'm sure that Robby and his friends will ride through the neighborhood this evening in search of neighbors blowing up fireworks. Other than that, we aren't doing a whole lot.  To be honest, not doing anything feels perfect right now!

Yesterday ended up being more emotional than I anticipated. I was fine until Scott surprised me by taking me to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. It was also my Dad's favorite restaurant, and we have never been there without him.  Walking into the restaurant, filled with so many memories of my Dad, brought a wave of grief I wasn't anticipating.  

I was okay through dinner, but I broke down after I tucked Timmy into bed. I guess every once in awhile I still need a good cry.  I'm pretty sure I was crying more over my Dad than my leg, but by the time I went to bed my emotions were all jumbled. I was a mess! 

Needless to say, I'm glad that my Ampuversary is over.

Happy Ampuversary

The Fourth of July might be tomorrow, but today I'm celebrating my personal Independence Day. Fifteen years ago this morning I embarked on a journey that changed my life. In many ways it feels like a different lifetime, yet at the same time I remember the emotions as if it were yesterday.

I think about that day fifteen years ago and the fear, grief and confusion that I felt on that morning envelopes me. I feel sad, but probably not for the reasons that people expect. I no longer spend my Ampuversary mourning the loss of my limb. 

Instead of mourning, this morning I feel sad as I reflect upon the memories. I was so scared that morning fifteen years ago. Feeling lost, all I could do was to remind myself to keep breathing. I couldn't speak without crying, yet I knew in my heart that I needed to sacrifice my broken limb for a chance at a better life. I wish that I hadn't been as petrified, but I don't think I could have done anything to prevent my primal emotional response. 

It feels surreal that fifteen years have passed since that petrifying morning. I wish I could go back in time to reassure myself that I was going to be okay. (Of course, I probably wouldn't have believed myself!) 

So much has changed in the fifteen years since becoming an amputee. I hoped for a better life, yet reality has exceeded any hopes and wishes made so many years ago. I have a fantastic life.

Being an amputee is only one adjective that is used to define who I am. I have two wonderful kids who call my Momom. I never would have been able to be the mother they deserve when I was struggling to salvage my foot. I have a new career, and I am involved in an amazing community of peers. I am extremely blessed, and that is what I am choosing to celebrate today.  Happy Ampuversary to me!

Settling into Summer

It certainly took awhile, but it feels like summer has finally arrived. The temperatures have been hot and the sun has been shining bright, allowing us to escape to the pool each afternoon. Both boys are little water bugs and could stay splishing and splashing all day. I love our lazy summer afternoons!

Ten years ago, the idea of going to the pool would leave me angst ridden. As I'm growing older I'm adopting more of an "I don't give a damn" attitude. Several years ago it occurred to me that not one person is judging my jiggly bum and dimpled thighs when I walk by. In fact, not only are they not judging my flaws, I venture to say that they don't even notice. When I walk around the pool deck, eyes never seem to move beyond my prosthesis. I could walk around completely naked and I don't think anybody would notice.

I've decided to embrace the distraction instead of being frustrated by it. Because nobody is looking beyond my leg, I feel comfortable being myself without feeling insecure about my shape. I'm now able to play with the kids and have a great time without the constant worry that used to plague my swimsuit reveal. Talk about feeling empowered! I suppose this is an unlikely benefit of being an amputee woman.

This morning I was up early, knocking out some work before the sun comes up. The forecast is predicting more hot temperatures, so I'll be heading to the pool for a few hours this afternoon. I could get used to this summertime routine!

Swimming and Geocaching

Yesterday we had planned to return to Virginia, but Robby asked to extend our stay so he could go to the pool with his cousins.  The temperatures were hot and the sun was blazing. Lacking any real reason to return home immediately, I decided that staying and swimming would be a good use of our day.  

Robby, Timmy and Tiffany all had a blast splashing and playing in the pool. After a few hours we returned back to my Mom's, where we dried off and ate dinner. When Timmy was sleeping for the night we sneaked out and went Geocaching at a local park. We topped off our Geocaching with a trip to the ice cream shop.

Driving back to my Mom's we noticed the bright yellow full moon. I encouraged my nephew to pull out his telescope so we could all take a better look. At first he said that he couldn't find it, but finally admitted that he didn't know how to use it. With a "don't worry, I've got this" attitude, Robby grabbed the telescope and set it up like a seasoned pro.  We ended up setting up the telescope in the middle of the street (thankfully there is little to no traffic that time of night) and Robby helped JR learn how to use it. 

I'm relieved that it is finally Friday. With near constant travel, I'll be glad when things finally slow down for awhile. Although we all had fun in Ohio, the stress of trying to keep the boys tame while around others is simply exhausting.  Today the boys and I are headed home. I have to admit I'm looking forward to kicking my leg off, curling up on my couch in my jammies and sipping on a glass (or two) of wine.  

TSA "Screening"

My recent airline travel has confirmed my belief that TSA is in desperate need of continued training. None of the agents I encountered knew how to handle my prosthetic. I know how the screening is supposed to unfold and I become frustrated when I seem to know protocol more than the employees!

The "security" screening on our outbound trip consisted of the agent asking me what other people do, followed by a quick "I think you're fine honey. Have a good day." I wasn't swabbed, nor was I patted down. It doesn't exactly instill confidence, does it?

On the return trip, the agent only did a visible inspection. Although, in all fairness, using the term "inspection" may be deceiving. In reality she looked at my prosthesis, said "I see you have one of those prosthetic legs. I think I have to swab your hands."  After my hands (but not my prosthetic) were swabbed, I received a kind "Go ahead dear." It is frustrating that the TSA screening experience continues to be piecemeal and inconsistent.

After a long evening of travel, we arrived safely at my Mom's house. Today we will make the final of our trip as we return to VA. The boys and I have been away now for two weeks and I think we are all anxious to go home.

Traveling with Timmy went as well as anticipated. He was high maintenance but behaved, which is really all that matters. We lucked out by discovering a playground at the airport, allowing him a much needed energy outlet before being confined in a seat. If you ask me, every airport would benefit from not only continued disability training for their TSA agents but also by offering a small playground.  

Last Day in Ohio

Yesterday we packed up the boys (and Grandma) and headed to a local amusement park. The weather was overcast and muggy, but the boys were excited for an adventure. Although the weather was overcast and muggy.  Eventually the skies opened and we were treated to the much anticipated thunderstorm. We were bummed to get rained out of our Ohio adventure, but at least the boys were able to ride without interruption for two hours. 

Today we are packing up and heading home. Well, at least back to Pennsylvania. We fly into Philadelphia tonight and will drive to my Mom's for the night. Tomorrow we will (finally) return to Virginia. Robby, Timmy and I haven't been home for two weeks. Although we have had a lot of fun, it is time to go home.