Pain

 After two fun-packed fire pit parties, last night we had to settle for the glow of a candle inside. Rain finally blew through the area, bringing wild winds and lightening. Unlike earlier storms, we did not sustain any damage this time. I'm hoping that I again will be able to enjoy a rain storm without fear of falling trees, but I suspect it is going to take awhile to get there. At least until the large stumps are removed from my side yard.

I'm waking up this morning in a lot of pain. Between the job and the weather, my legs are hurting. Hopefully the pain works out as I start moving through the day because right now I'm stumbling around like a confused hobbit. 

Sometimes I hate being an amputee.  Today is one of those days.   

Fire Pit

 Another weekend has come to a close. My goodness, weekends certainly take on a different feel when one has to return to an in-person job on Monday. After two decades of the freedom to work from the couch of my choice, being tethered to a locale is an odd adjustment.  

Saturday morning I woke early and went to visit my Mom and sister for the day. We went out for lunch, worked around the house and watched the Penn State game. To be specific, my sister watched the game while I was wildly entertained by watching her play by play reactions. She has definitely inherited my Dad's enthusiasm for Penn State football. 

I had to leave earlier than I would have preferred because I wanted to see Robby before he went back to school. I also needed time to do laundry and to get myself ready for the week ahead. I knew that the boys would be happy when I came home, but not because they were excited to see me. As soon as they saw the box in the car, I was going to become irrelevant. 

My Mom surprised us with an amazing new portable fire pit. All summer the boys have been inquiring about a fire pit. With the temperatures cooling, I started to miss it too. I didn't realize how much time the boys and I spent sitting a fire pit in the evenings. They were as excited as I anticipated when they saw the box. Within minutes the fire was crackling and their smiles were shining.

 Thanks Mom!

 

Icy Hot

 It's been a heck of a week.  I'm so glad it is Friday. 

Last night I broke another 'old lady' benchmark when I sent Scott out to get Icy Hot for my knee.  At this point, my prosthetic is definitely holding up better than my biological side. I'm hopeful that the aches and pains will subside as my body gains strength through repetition. It's been a long time since I've logged 18,000 steps per day on a regular basis. Hopefully this weekend will help to reset my body because I'm exhausted and now I smell like my Nan because of the menthol rub.

Have a good weekend! 

Feedback

 In the past two days both Robby and Timmy have received unsolicited compliments from their teachers. Both boys were beaming with pride as they relayed the sentiments to us. I loved seeing the pride on their faces as they excitedly showed shared their stories with Scott and I. I'm glad that they value academic feedback so highly! Being back in the schools has provided me with an updated appreciation for the respect for education that my boys hold. I cannot imagine battling each day to simply go to school. 

Timmy absolutely adores his new school. Although the teachers and many of the students remained the same, the format and many of the programs have been adjusted for new platforms. I haven't seen him this enthusiastic about school and learning. He happily logs in each morning, excited to see his friends and continue the projects from the previous day.  It is hard to remember that this is the same kid who, just a few years ago, had me hiding in bathroom so that I could privately cry while stuffing my face with the contraband DoubleStuff Oreos.  

So far, everybody seems to be adjusting well to my new job.  Now if I could only figure out how to not be so exhausted at the end of each day... 

Walking Woman

 Work is going well. Yesterday I logged nearly 19,000 steps with my students. Although I was definitely tired by the end of the day, I also felt incredibly grateful that my leg is strong enough to keep me moving. I do not take the absence of sores and blisters for granted! Yesterday I impressed myself by going up and down now fewer than 10 flights of stairs with my students. 

Impressive feat for any 51 year old. As an amputee, I'm very proud of this accomplishment. Of course, I had to celebrate privately because my amputation is not visible at work. I really want the kids and my coworkers to get to know me and my abilities before they see 'what is missing.' Eventually I'll wear shorter pants or a skirt, but right now I'm sticking with pants. I know far too well how my prosthesis becomes my defining feature when people don't get to know me first.  

Although I'm busy, I find myself enjoying the drives between schools. It offers an opportunity to jam out to some music and unwind. Because I cover a total of 13 schools, I am driving across the county on a regular basis. I've discovered the cutest little shops and businesses along the routes. I can't wait to actually stop in sometime, but right now I'm far too busy playing catch up. Because I was hired 6 weeks into the school year, I'm pressed trying to provide all of the students with their promised time. It is definitely a challenge, but thankfully I'm up to it!

RISE UP

 

For every amputee who has ever felt like a number. This is for you. 

 

The government just announced an investigation that could lead to massive tariffs on prosthetics.

 

Let me translate what that really means for us.  What happens when the leg you walk on suddenly costs your prosthetist more to acquire than insurance will ever pay them?

 

Clinics close. Innovation STOPS. And we get left behind, fighting for outdated tech or facing impossible bills. As if battling insurance wasn't already a full-time job. 

 

So where is the outrage from the big patient organizations? Silence. 

Here’s the hard truth I’ve learned after two decades: The system isn't broken; it was built to work exactly this way.They don't tell you your 'local' clinic is secretly owned by a giant manufacturer. Why? Because you're not supposed to know who's really profiting from your body.  And the advocacy groups that claim to represent us? Their silence is deafening, bought and paid for by the same manufacturers writing their donation checks. 

 

To them, we're not people; we're purchase orders and patient quotas. Because of the incestuous relationship created when the manufacturer owns the clinician, the needs of the patient become secondary. They don't see our fight.

 

I'm done asking for a seat at their table. It’s time we build our own. 

I am creating a new channel for patient-led advocacy. No corporate cash. No hidden agendas. Just our voices, our power, our fight. We will share the information they hide and organize to protect our access to care.

Want in? Message me and follow this blog. I'll make sure you're on the list when we launch.

It’s time to rise up because we need to protect and empower ourselves. 

 

If you have read this far, thank you. I have heard this new venture described as AmputeeMommy gone Menopausal. Fairly apt description if it means I'm done dealing with the establishments.

Exhausted

 It's been an exhausting week as we settle into an entirely new routine. I knew that I would be tired coming home from work, but I did not anticipate the body aches that accompany this type of job. Squatting, getting on the floor and constant stair walking are not my favorite physical activities, yet they are all required heavily in my new job.

My students are all unique, entertaining and challenging. With ages ranging from preschool to high school, I get to be with kiddos from all ages. Although I've only worked with them once or twice so far, I am looking forward to our adventures this year. I really think I can make an impact, which I remind myself each evening when I'm hobbling around in pain. 

Physically I can do this job and eventually I won't be as sore. But these first few days have leveled me. Each night I've been grateful for my deep soaking tub. It is amazing how my muscles relax when they are encased in hot water. 

Timmy has done an amazing job by himself during the afternoons. He has been preparing his own lunch and making sure that he returns to class on time. I think he is enjoying the newfound freedom and responsibility because he certainly does not seem to miss me.