Bye Bye Kindergarten!!

It is nearly impossible to fathom that tomorrow is Robby's last day of Kindergarten. I remember feeling nearly suffocating anxiety as the dreaded "K" word day approached. I was nervous for him and sad because I knew I was going to miss him while he was gone. I so vividly remember dropping him off on that first day and sobbing until I went to pick him up. In that moment I seriously began to consider homeschooling simply to avoid the angst of the separation!

Robby quickly assimilated to the new routine. He is extremely popular with his peers and is excelling academically. (Did I mention he was April's Student of the Month for his entire school?) He has demonstrated a strength of character by standing up for his peers who are being teased or ridiculed, an attribute of which I could not be prouder.

My adjustment to his being in school has not been as seamless, but my progress has been steady. For much of September I felt lost during those three hours everyday. I was so used to having him with me that the silence in the house was disconcerting. I simply didn't know what to do with myself or how to fill the time.

By the time the holidays came around, my work responsibilities increased drastically. I had no problem filling the time while he was gone. Unfortunately I felt guilty for not giving him all of my attention when he came home from school so I was forced to stay up late and wake up early to finish my projects.

Through the winter months I was running on empty, constantly exhausted and feeling inadequate. I knew that I wasn't being kind to myself and that I needed to make a change. I started to allow Robby to watch a few cartoons when he came home from school, buying me time to finish my work and chores. I discovered that he seemed to relish the time to decompress and didn't need me to constantly engage him. I wish I had figured that out in September; it would have saved me a lot of sleepless nights!

This spring I decided to start taking better care of myself. I joined a gym and made my health and emotional well-being a priority. At first I felt selfish taking the time to take care of myself, but I quickly learned that I am a better and happier person because of my efforts.

It has taken me a year to figure out how to be a mom to a Kindergartner. In a few months he will be in the First grade and yes, the thought does make me tear up. It is so hard to grasp that he is old enough to be in the first grade. I know that the new school year enrolled in a full day program will be another transition. I'm only hoping that it is as smooth for both of us as it was for him this year.