Nap?

I have accepted that I am living my life in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I covet a good nights sleep, but I fear that my dream is beyond reach. My sleep issues are due to a myriad of factors including pregnancy discomfort, phantom limb pain, a constant need to use the bathroom and anxiety. It feels like my body is conspiring against me by employing every means to keep me from sleeping. To add a layer of frustration to my insomnia, I now find myself waking up after short intervals of slumber only to fret about the fatigue I am going to experience once the little one arrives. Worrying about sleep which I have not yet missed is infuriating!

It sounds like an oxymoron to say that bed rest is exhausting, but I have found this to be true. My mind is churning, but I have to keep my body still. Thankfully I can complete most of my work responsibilities via the computer. Between Skype and the internet, I have been able to stay on top of my work. If I didn't have reports and projects to occupy my mind I would surely go stir crazy. Scott is grateful for the time I'm working because he is not being commandeered around the house in a quest to satisfy my growing nesting instincts.

When I do move I am met with cramping so severe I am forced to stop after a few steps and bend over until it wanes. My body's reaction to movement certainly helps me maintain the bed rest protocol prescribed by my doctors. While I don't have a lot of experience, I suspect that this littlest Koopa will be here sooner rather than later.

The fatigue that I'm feeling now is easily attributed to the pregnancy and my health issues. Once the baby is born and my health problems are treated, I will continue to be tired because I'll be caring for an infant. In actuality, I don't foresee feeling refreshed and truly energized anytime in the near future. Maybe in 5 or 6 years I'll be able to take a nap?