I think I jinxed myself by writing about the comfort I have been feeling lately with my prosthesis. Last night, from out of nowhere and seemingly without cause, phantom pain decided to visit. It has been a long time since I struggled with pure phantom pain, and it was utterly miserable.
My limb kicked uncontrollably with each electrical shock. The shocks were both powerful and frequent, creating a Rockettes-like experience as I tried to rest. I wish I had been wearing my pedometer at the time, because I'm certain my involuntary kicking logged miles throughout the night.
I tried all of my tricks to calm the nerves, but nothing worked. I finally surrendered to a night of misery and accepted my sleepless fate. At about 3:30 the nerves began the calm, allowing me to (finally) fall asleep.
I don't know why the phantom pain decided to visit last night. The weather was stable, I haven't had a prosthetic change and my limb was healthy. All of the normal culprits were eliminated, I'm done trying to figure out a cause. I find it both exhausting and depressing to be reminded that I am susceptible to phantom pain without notice nor cause. Instead of grappling for a reason, I'm going to just hope that it doesn't happen again tonight.
This morning my leg is swollen, undoubtedly from the repeated kicking and the angry nerves. I'm going to take it as easy as I can to allow the limb to rest and to heal. Phantom pain is a miserable experience.