I know that there was no chance of navigating my brother's killing unscathed and unchanged. It has been two months and we are still fighting for scraps of information. The Texas Rangers, who are leading the 'impartial investigation' thus far have only been interested in soliciting negative information about Jae from me and other family members.
It feels like they are building a case that Jae deserved to be shot. It does not matter that he was an addict and could be a real prick when using. He was unarmed, blind and in a wheelchair. Why did he have to be shot in the neck and killed? I have no faith that the 'impartial investigation' will bring any true resolution, information and certainly not justice.
The badge protects itself. After all, it is called a 'brotherhood' for a reason. I discovered that there were 22 police killings in the state of Texas in April alone. Jae is simply more paperwork in their system. The scores of unreturned phone calls from every contact, including the "victims advocate" is another brick in their institutional fortress of protection.
While I know in my heart that all cops aren't bad, I'm really struggling right now to remind myself of that reality. Each time I see a badge I want to scream and rage. I hope that my anger subsides with time because I don't like feeling this way.
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