Plans Diverted

Unlike most of the working world, I was actually looking forward to Monday morning. Not because I was eager to tackle the predictable flood of beginning-of-the-week emails, nor was I excited about a full afternoon of conference calls on my calendar. The fact that I had an appointment to pick up my new leg trumped all of my work week woes.

During the past week I have been annoyingly aware of my prosthetic. I haven't been sidelined by the issues, but I could feel that slowing down would be advisable. Unfortunately, Timmy missed the memo and continued to exercise his newly discovered freedom by crawling. I just don't remember Robby being this inquisitive!

My new leg excitement was squelched by a 5 AM phone call announcing the cancellation of school due to ice. Again, the boys were ecstatic with their unanticipated vacation day. I, on the other hand, was left wringing my hands. I don't mess around with icy roads. If they were treacherous enough for school to be cancelled and the Federal Government to delay opening, I was not going to venture out to pick up my new leg. Disappointed with the change of plans, I slipped on my ill-fitting prosthetic and hobbled out to the coffee pot. 

I spent the majority of the day chasing after Timmy who seemed to be on mission to be as mischievous as possible. To his

delight and my dismay, he learned how to open cabinets. He thoroughly enjoyed practicing his newly discovered skill at each opportunity! After spending the afternoon chasing him out of the kitchen, sweeping up the chocolate chips he found and putting away the bags he pulled from the shelves, I have concluded that I can no longer procrastinate baby-proofing the kitchen. 

The weather is supposed to be clear this morning with freezing rain moving in during the afternoon. I should be able to get to Elliot's to pick up my leg. If the fitting goes smoothly, I might have enough time to swing by Lowes to stock up on baby proofing supplies. At least I'll have a project during the next snow storm is supposed to roll in on Thursday.  Have I mentioned that I'm ready for spring? 

Chuck E Cheese

Before leaving to pick up Robby from school on Friday, I quickly swallowed a couple Tylenol, slurped down with a cup of coffee.  I didn't need the Tylenol or the caffeine jolt from the coffee, but I knew that I would appreciate my prophylactic efforts in a few hours. I had promised Robby and his friend Rowan that I would take them to Chuck E. Cheese after school. 

I'll be honest, going to Chuck E. Cheese is not my favorite family adventure. The lights, sirens, screams and various arcade noises, mixing with the aromas of cheap pizza, quickly put me into sensory overload. I also have an undiagnosed gambling problem which the "games" at Chuck E Cheese seem to bring to the forefront.  I have been known to burn through my tokens almost as quickly as the kids. Knowing the rush I receive when I hit the jackpots and when the tickets start streaming from the machine, I have no doubt that I need to stay away from slot machines that pay cash in casinos. 

This trip to Chuck E. Cheese I was able to keep my gambling compulsions under control simply because I was occupied taking care of Timmy. Perched in his stroller, he was mesmerized by the same features that prompted my Tylenol earlier in the day. Despite being overdue for his nap, Timmy remained alert and awake throughout the evening. The novelty of the arcade never grew old in his eyes. 

Robby and Rowan ditched me as soon as they had their tokens in hand. They used to sit with me at the table, nibble on pizza and talk game strategy. Now they only talk to me because they know that it would be rude to ask for more tokens without an obligatory conversation.  I have been relegated to chauffeur and piggy bank. 

Robby may not want to hang out with me at Chuck E. Cheese anymore, but Timmy was delighted to spend the time with me. Of course, he was strapped into his stroller so he was a captive audience. While the two older kids tackled the games in their quest for 1000 tickets, Timmy and I meandered around the building. 

I spotted a little car ride-on amusement and thought that Timmy might enjoy it. I sat him down and strapped him into the seat. His face lit up and I could tell that he was delighted to be sitting in the toy car. I fed the token into the slot and gave myself a silent pat on the back for being a good mom. I knew that my little baby was soon going to be over the moon with his first ride. 

Wrong!  As soon as the ride begin to slowly move forward his happy face morphed into one of pure terror. He instinctively reached for me, clenching my shirt with his fist and burying his face in my chest. He was only on the ride long enough for me to unbuckle him and remove him from the amusement torture of the moving toy car.  Only after he calmed down did I realize that the ride took a photo of each rider when the amusement started.  This photo is priceless and is almost worth the unintentional terror the ride inflicted on my little Timid Timmy.

Before the ride started to move.

Immediately after the ride started to move.

Snow Day Happiness

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling blue and emotional. I wasn't focusing on a particular situation. Instead I think I was feeling a conglomeration of many issues hitting me at once. Primarily though I was sad about my Dad being sick. I wish that I could do something to help. Being relegated to spectator on this journey is difficult, especially since I am used to trying to fix things. It is a bitter pill to swallow when you realize that something cannot be fixed!

I woke up early and laid in bed, wishing the day away. I just wanted to hide from the world, and I was dreading having to tackle my to-do list. Just as I was in the throws of an impressive pity party the phone rang, jolting me out of my worries and back into reality. Apparently while I was wallowing in the wee hours of the morning, snow had been falling at a heavy clip. School for both Scott and Robby was cancelled.

Although I have grown weary of snow days simply because of the disruption to my schedule, yesterday's surprise day off was a godsend. I needed to have everybody home, to just be together. As soon as I realized that a snow day had been called, my mood began to lift. Of course, my happiness was nothing compared to the enthusiasm demonstrated by Scott and Robby upon hearing the news. Perhaps there is nothing more wonderful than a completely unexpected snow day!

We didn't do anything of consequence, but the lack of activity was refreshing. Scott and Robby spent time playing Plants vs. Zombies on XBox. Timmy spent hours crawling after Charlie Cat. I sat by the fire, worked and tried to enjoy the moment.  Yesterday I was happy for the snow day, but for purely selfish reasons- I wasn't alone. Today I'm feeling better, happier and more centered. I'm looking forward to my Timmy Time today, in a quiet house.

Report Card

I am an extremely proud Momom! Robby received his report card and, although he was apprehensive, it was fantastic. He received A's in everything with the exception of Writing, where he earned a B. Just as important as the academic marks, he received praise for being compassionate, cooperative, a good listener and a strong leader. I could not be prouder of my little Koopa.

Robby was initially upset about his B, viewing anything less than an A as a failure. After reminding him numerous times that B does not equal bad, he began to relax (although I could tell he was continuing to perseverate). Still trying to rationalize his B, he came to the conclusion that writing is a "stupid" task.  He explained his anti-writing theory.  "Momom, when we write in schools we have to use pencils. Do you know what pencils are made out of?  Wood! (Pause for dramatic effect.)  Wood comes from trees, and in order to make the stupid little pencils for kids they have to kill a tree. I love trees, don't you? Why do you want me to kill trees?  That's why I prefer using the keyboard. No trees die when I use a keyboard." 

While I appreciate the effort he put forth in devising his handwriting excuse, I didn't want him to feel as if a B required justification. It is a good grade, and he should still be proud of earning it. So I told him that I am so proud of all of his grades, including the B, and that the most important thing is that he tried and behaved in school. He seemed pleased with my response, and I could see the pride begin to waft over his face.  I knew that he was over the disappointing B when he asked for my phone so that he could call his grandparents.

It ironic that his B was not in handwriting, which Robby assumed, but rather in Creative Writing. Obviously the child can spin a story!

One of Those Days

The only time I lament living with limb loss is when I am having pain or prosthetic issues. Unfortunately today I am experiencing both. My leg was rubbing inside my socket causing a sore to develop. At the moment the sore is small and is not yet raw, but it is tender and I am increasingly aware of every step. I am not in a position where I can easily forgo wearing my leg, so I made an appointment to see Elliot (my prosthetist) this afternoon. Hopefully he'll be able to work some magic and make me comfortable again.

Most frustrating out of this minor setback is the fact that it came from out of nowhere! I had been fine and experiencing no prosthetic issues. I went from chasing  Timmy to lamenting each step seemingly overnight. While I would like to know why it happened, at this point I am more concerned with healing.

I am thankful that I am able to see Elliot today. I know that many of my amputee friends are forced to wait for days for an available appointment. I've never had to wait, which is a good thing because I'm fairly sure I wouldn't do it with grace. While I'm eager about the prospect of fixing the issue before it becomes more troublesome, I resent the fact that I had to rearrange my schedule because of my prosthetic needs.

Today I find myself feeling angry about my limb loss. I hate that I have to rely upon a manufactured device, which are prone to breaking, in order to ambulate. I hate  the fragility of my mobility, that it is the result of a sum of components that are supposed to move in a particular way. When one small variable changes, everything can be thrown out of whack. 

I am hopeful that my socket can be adjusted, and that the pain will float away as quickly as it appeared. I am just tired of the little inconveniences that pop up to remind me that I am an amputee. Sometimes it is okay to just throw up your arms and say, "This isn't fair."  Today is one of those days.

Starchy Mess

Yesterday morning I woke up with a headache. I was hopeful that a cup of coffee would knock it out, but it wasn't successful and the dull ache remained throughout the day. I was in survival mode just trying to keep up with my extremely curious Timmy. Why do babies always seem to become more adventurous when their parent isn't feeling well?  I swear it were as if he knew that I was vulnerable, and he was determined to take full advantage of the opportunity to explore.

By explore I don't mean look around; I am referring to his putting absolutely everything into his mouth. Actually, I mean everything except new foods. Hamlet loves to chew on bits of wood, lint and dirty socks he managed to pull out from the abyss under the couch, but he turns into a sobbing mess when I try to feed him a noodle.  Maybe I should start dribbling the noodles on the floor so that he finds them appetizing?

Last night, perhaps out of pure exhaustion, I decided to encourage Timmy to feed himself. I thought that he might be more apt to eat the new food (baked potato) if he was in control. While he did seem to enjoy the potato, I don't think much actually made it to his mouth. 

 

Only after he had thoroughly smeared the food over his face, his head and his hair did I realize that I had forgotten to put a bib on him first. I also remembered that he is only 9 months old and cannot yet be trusted with a spoon.  He was a silly starchy mess by the time we were finished with dinner.  But he was also happy, and seeing his gummy little smile gave me the energy I needed to survive the clearly necessary bath time. 

So Timmy wasn't successful with the spoon, but we're going to modify and keep trying. I think from now on I will feed him before we sit down for dinner. While we're eating he can "practice" with his spoon. This way he is happy and I know that he has gotten at least something in his tummy.  Of course, I still have to figure out a way to dull the allure of the floor buffet. 

Weekend Wrap-Up

It is safe to say that everybody was disappointed when we received a call Saturday morning announcing the cancellation of the Diaper Derby. A surprise winter storm materialized, dumping nearly 10 inches of snow in its wake. Looking out the window, I knew that the decision to cancel was correct, but that didn't diffuse our disappointment.

Coach Robby had spent hours "training" Timmy to crawl down the hallway, finally had deemed him competition ready. Instead of a Diaper Derby winner, I now have an extremely quick little baby who has gained both skill and speed in his quest to explore. I haven't fully abandoned my Diaper Derby ambitions, but I'm not optimistic that I'll be able to find another one before he begins walking. 

So instead of going to the Diaper Derby, Saturday was spent playing in the snow.  Robby's friend came over and the two friends sledded, threw snowballs, and made a snow angel field.  (Incidentally, the Nerf SnowBall Blasters that Nana gave him work like a charm and are highly recommended by my little Koopa!) Timmy even managed to get in some snow fun when Robby and Rowan pulled him around the yard in his little sled. I think he enjoyed sledding, but I suspect he was more excited about being included in the activity.  Hamlet lights up whenever Robby plays with him, and I suspect that this adoration is only going to intensify.

My Sunday was spent tinkering around the house and digging out.  Scott was ecstatic with the return of racing, and nearly 15 years together has taught me not to  bother him during the Daytona 500.  I decided that my day of errands and home improvement projects would have to wait so that he could watch in peace. Instead I spent the race trying to entertain the boys so that Scott could watch his race without interruption. 

Today Robby has a delay, but I expect that school should return to normal this week. It was nice having them home, but they need to get back into the flow of the work week.  Well, maybe they don't need it as much as I do!