We moved!

 My apologies for missing a week of blogs. As the movers began to haul away boxes on Tuesday morning, it became clear that we were not ready for the impending move. Despite the countless hours I spent carefully packing and planning, the day was chaotic and beyond exhausting. 

During the initial estimate, our movers said they believed it would take approximately 6-8 hours for the entire move. After it took the movers 6 hours to pack up the house in Virginia, I gave up any semblance of planning and switched into moving survival mode. After an extraordinarily long 13 total hours, we were surrounded by a maze of boxes and furniture in a new house in West Virginia.

Scott was an absolute rock star during the move. He was still outside, running up and down stairs and directing the movers late into the evening. I tried to keep up, but my body shut down. I ended up hiding in the bathtub with the cats.

Slowly we have been settling in and getting used to our new home. The house is beautiful and Friend (and Timmy) seem to love our snow covered wooded yard. I know it will take awhile for it to feel like home, but I am up for the challenge!

 

 

Ready or Not

 This morning I'm sitting on the couch in the quiet of my living room, as I have for so many other days, but today is different. Today we sell this home and purchase our new one. This is my last morning as a homeowner in Virginia. Our house is filled with boxes and chaos as we pack up our memories and 20 years of stuff. 

Yesterday Timmy and Friend headed to PA while Robby went back to college. It feels appropriate that Scott and I are left to close out the house. We started this adventure together, so it is kind of fun to finish it out strong as a team. 

Today we go to settlement at 3 and will be packing furiously both before and after. The movers arrive tomorrow and we will embark on our new adventure. Wish us luck!!  (I will return on Wednesday from the new home!!)

Almost ready

 Our time in this home is coming to an end. It is impossible to believe that on Monday we sell our house and on Tuesday we begin our lives anew in West Virginia. Packing up has been cathartic as I weed through every possession our family has accumulated over nearly two decades, trying to cull out what is useful and needed, what has gone beyond its usefulness for us and needs to be donated, and what is linked to memories that are cherished. The task has been emotional and exhausting, but we are finally coming to an end. 

This weekend will be spent packing and disassembling our Virginia lives in anticipation for Monday. Ready or not, it looks like we are moving!  Wish us luck, we are going to need it.

Packing

Yesterday was spent focusing on packing and purging Robby's room. I found it considerably easier to pack everything up with him residing in the dorm.  After 6 hours, an obscene number of boxes and a ginormous trash bag, his room is nearly ready for the move. Our walls are bare and our home is beginning to feel more like a house that we are exiting. 

My goal today is to finish Robby's bedroom and perhaps the computer room. I am trying to push packing the kitchen until the end of the week because living without plates and cuts feels very inconvenient. While I've been busy packing the boxes Scott has spent his time ferrying them downstairs to the basement. Slowly but surely, we are getting there.

Pack-a-palooza day #2, wish us luck.

Thanksgiving

 This past Thanksgiving was difficult. Between navigating the move, the sudden change in my employment status and the first holiday after Jae was killed by Lt. John Ellen in Austin Texas on April 3, joy was elusive. It is no secret that I am struggling this year to tap into the holiday spirit. At this point, I'm thinking of throwing up the white flag and calling it a minimalist Christmas.

I spent Friday and Saturday with Scott selling at the mall. Yesterday I stayed home and packed while Robby and Scott handled the sales. After the mall closed Rob was ferried back to his dorm to finish out the semester. It is hard to believe that his semester finishes in two weeks. In many ways it feels like I just dropped him off at school, but so much as transpired it also feels like a lifetime ago. 

This week is all about packing. We go to settlement in one week from today (yikes) and the movers arrive next Tuesday. It is hard to believe that this is all going to happen. Of course, I keep waiting for a wrench to hijack the process. After the year that I've had, nothing would surprise me anymore.

Tired

 This year has left me feeling completely gutted. The past few weeks have been especially difficult.  I’ve tried to push through, but the weight of it all feels overwhelming, leaving me raw and drained. I am fighting the overwhelming urge to hide under my covers in a dark room, but the house needs to be packed and life must proceed. 

So I am packing, listening to audio books and trying to keep my mind as busy as possible. When I feel like I'm going to cry, I pack downstairs so the boys don't hear. We have been transparent about the situation, but want to shield them from my emotions as much as possible. Timmy in particular becomes upset when I cry and I want to spare him from this pain. 

Today I'm going to pack a few more boxes, pack up my bag and head to visit my Mom for Thanksgiving. I'm not feeling particularly thankful or holidayish this year, but I know that time marches. Despite the turmoil that is swirling around us, the boys deserve and expect a holiday season.  I'm going to do my best to fake my way through.

Broken

 Friday afternoon I logged into a scheduled meeting with my boss. I have been working at the organization for four years and was feeling confident. My performance and my numbers are solid, my feedback has been extremely positive and I know that my efforts have significantly been helping people. Things have been going so well in fact that I thought the meeting might be to broach the idea of transitioning from contractual to full-time employee. 

Imagine my shock when, after exchanging pleasantries for 10 minutes, the tone immediately shifted. The love the program and the community that I have built. Unfortunately, due to the current transitions within the company, they don't feel like they have the resources necessary to grow. Therefore, they have decided to shelf the program.

My dream job would come to an end at the conclusion of 2024. 

I am not quite certain what happened during the rest of the meeting because I was in shock. I spent the weekend reeling, trying to make heads of tails out of what has just become of my life. In an instant, everything has changed.  Again.

2024 is the year that broke me. I know I will regroup and we will move forward. But right now, I feel gutted and defeated. I feel like the universe is working overtime to demonstrate that it truly doesn't care.