Returning

 I am going to do my best to returning to writing on a regular basis. My life has been crazy but I realized that I need the outlet for my emotions. Thank you for sticking by me.

Scott continues to recover at home. After four stent placements and the diagnosis of another artery blocked, our family lifestyle has been overhauled. While the kids are onboard and have not complained, I must admit that I discovered that a "family healthy lifestyle" is quite laborious! I feel like I am spending hours in the kitchen each day carefully prepping each meal. I'm hoping it eases with time because it is exhausting.

As a mercy, my leg seems to be complying beautifully. I despite spending considerably more time on my legs each day, I have been able to avoid skin issues and breakdown.  Now if my emotional meltdowns were as easy to avoid.

It's hard. It's really really hard. I don't want to be a cardiac family. I want to turn back the clock 15 months to when I was happy any and felt valued. But that isn't possible, so right now I'm in survival mode.

Getting through the hours until the days are easier. We've done this type of trip before and we know we will make it to the other side. But this summer is not going to be a lot of fun.

 

Home on Cardiac Recovery

 The past week has been among one of the most difficult in my life. I am eternally  grateful that Scott is home and on the road to recovery. Our lives as cardiac families is already very sufficient, but we will figure it out.  

Although things are different, it is nice to have everybody home. Timmy finally returned home, reuniting the family under a single roof.  With the days lost in the hospital I completely forgot Mother's Day.  Thankfully my Mom surprised me with a lunch visit.

Things are hard.  I feel like I'm treading water wearing a ball gown and weights.  

But we will be okay 

Heart Attack

 I'm sorry for the delay in posting.  

I never made it to Bernie.  Scott called and asked me to come home because he wasn't feeling well. By the time I arrived, it was obvious we needed to go to the hospital.  

He is recovering from a heart attack.  Yesterday they put in four stents and today we will start our new life as a heart attack survivor family.

 

Bernie

 Greetings from Pennsylvania!  I came up to visit my mom for a few days so that I could accompany her to a few appointments, relax and go to a Bernie Sanders rally tonight. While I'm in PA, Scott stayed behind to help move Robby home from college.  After a 9 am virtual final, Robby is officially done with his freshman year in college!

Today I am going to hang out with my Mom before heading to the Bernie rally with her. My mom loves Bernie and was ecstatic when she learned that he was bringing his rally to Harrisburg. She rarely asks for anything, so when she asked if we would take her to the rally, there was no way I could say no. My thoughts on Bernie are complicated and complex, but fulfilling my Mom's request was simple.

Tomorrow I'll head back home and help Robby unpack and organize his college gear. It will be so nice to have him home for the summer!

Better

 I'm still struggling, but the sunshine definitely helps to keep my moods lighter. Scott and I have been having a lot of fun working in the yard, removing old vines and uncovering flowers and plants that have been struggling to bloom. We've planted a vegetable garden in flower pots and blueberry bushes next to the house. From the way that the plants are responding, we should have a bumper crop!

The temperatures are turning and the trees are finally starting to green. I am shocked at how long it has taken this area of West Virginia to emerge from winter. It feels like we are about four weeks behind the blooms around us.  Regardless of the timing, I'm delighted to finally see green and flowers again.  

Today we are heading back to Shepherd to pick up more of Robby's dorm room belongings. I am looking forward to having him home for summer, but I'm not eager for the move and the sudden reintroduction of so much 'stuff' into the house. I'm hoping to spend some time this afternoon carving out a nice space in the basement for all of his dorm supplies.  

 

I'm Back!

 My apologies for not writing at all last week. To say that I was in a bad headspace would be an understatement. It was a rough week with several bright spots that I am trying to focus upon. Thankfully the cloud is beginning to lift and I am feeling more like myself.

The constant barrage of bad news has been overwhelming. Last week I learned that funding for the National Limb Loss Resource Center, the primary source of unbiased information for patients after an amputation. Why is unbiased important? Because every single manufacturer wants nothing more than to have first crack at the newbies.  The resource center stood to provide information and support without marketing. Apparently eliminating this resource is a necessary step towards making us great.

I mentioned bright spots last week. The best was Timmy's 11th birthday. Robby's classes were cancelled and he was able to surprise Timmy by coming home for the night to celebrate. Talk about exciting!

My little bike rider loves his new bike, but he is enthralled by his drone. He spends 18 minutes out of every waking hour flying this tool, not a toy, through the house and yard. He has surveyed our gutters, taken beautiful aerial photos and challenging himself by building obstacle courses. 

Have a great week. I'm going to soak up the sun and try to stay happy.

 

Birthday and Easter

 My Mom came down to spend her birthday and Easter weekend at our house. Her traveling anywhere overnight is a rare occurrence and one that sparked great excitement for Timmy. He spent Friday evening helping Robby bake her birthday cake while Saturday was spent cleaning and decorating for her arrival. Hopefully she was able to feel how special she is to us and to so many!

Sunday was all about Easter. The bunny hopped around the yard in the morning in anticipation of Timmy's enthusiastic collection. My sister, my niece and nephew drove down for dinner in the afternoon. It was nice to have a full house. This was our first time hosting since we have been fully unpacked. With two full kitchens, it turns out this is an amazing house for entertaining.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Today I'm facing reality. I really don't want to do that! Hopefully we will get some idea on future plans for Timmy's school and my employment. Please send us good thoughts!