Young Adult

Having my Mom stay on Wednesday night to take over the night shift with Timmy helped me more than I anticipated. I knew I was feeling worn down, but I didn't realize the depth of my fatigue until I was able to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. I am fairly certain I fell asleep within moments of my head hitting the pillow, and I didn't wake up until 8 the next morning. I felt invigorated after sleeping for so long! I'm going to turn 40 on Monday, but I have no shame about admitting that I still need my Mom.

The fact that I am embarking on my final weekend in my 30's is difficult to grasp. I vividly remember my Mom's 40th birthday. I wondered how she could be smiling when she had just turned an age I equated with being decrepit. I felt sad because I assumed that her best years were behind her, and the only things she had to look forward to were adult diapers and pureed food. 

Thankfully, I was wrong, and my Mom turning 40 did not mean that admittance to the nursing home was imminent. She defied my naive oh-so-low expectations by continuing to live an active and happy life. While I no longer view 40 as a death sentence, I can't say that I am looking forward to turning the page on this milestone!

It is hard for me to embrace turning 40 because I still view myself as being youthful. I can no longer pretend that I am a young adult; 40 is definitely middle age. I feel like throwing a juvenile temper tantrum by holding my breath, stomping my foot and screaming, "I don't want to be middle age!" Of course, my outburst would not change the reality of the calendar and would probably just result in my breaking a toe, injuring my voice and fainting. 

Like it or not, 40 is barreling down on me at lightening speed. In mere hours I'll be the dreaded 4-0. This weekend I am going to try to put the number out of my mind and just enjoy spending time with the boys. For right now, I'm still in my 30s, and I plan on embracing every remaining second as a "young adult."