The only time I lament living with limb loss is when I am having pain or prosthetic issues. Unfortunately today I am experiencing both. My leg was rubbing inside my socket causing a sore to develop. At the moment the sore is small and is not yet raw, but it is tender and I am increasingly aware of every step. I am not in a position where I can easily forgo wearing my leg, so I made an appointment to see Elliot (my prosthetist) this afternoon. Hopefully he'll be able to work some magic and make me comfortable again.
Most frustrating out of this minor setback is the fact that it came from out of nowhere! I had been fine and experiencing no prosthetic issues. I went from chasing Timmy to lamenting each step seemingly overnight. While I would like to know why it happened, at this point I am more concerned with healing.
I am thankful that I am able to see Elliot today. I know that many of my amputee friends are forced to wait for days for an available appointment. I've never had to wait, which is a good thing because I'm fairly sure I wouldn't do it with grace. While I'm eager about the prospect of fixing the issue before it becomes more troublesome, I resent the fact that I had to rearrange my schedule because of my prosthetic needs.
Today I find myself feeling angry about my limb loss. I hate that I have to rely upon a manufactured device, which are prone to breaking, in order to ambulate. I hate the fragility of my mobility, that it is the result of a sum of components that are supposed to move in a particular way. When one small variable changes, everything can be thrown out of whack.
I am hopeful that my socket can be adjusted, and that the pain will float away as quickly as it appeared. I am just tired of the little inconveniences that pop up to remind me that I am an amputee. Sometimes it is okay to just throw up your arms and say, "This isn't fair." Today is one of those days.