Back To School Shopping DISASTER

After a quiet few days at home watching Veggie Tales on the couch, Robby is finally feeling better. His energy levels haven't fully rebounded, but he has begun interacting with his toys and has regained his appetite. Other than providing medication, there was little I could do except sit with him and snuggle.

Although I hate seeing him sick, I have to admit that I relished the endless hours of holding him on the couch. I was able to tune out both Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber and simply enjoy being needed and wanted by my little boy. He doesn't cuddle nearly as much as he did even a few months ago, and, to be completely honest, I miss it!

Yesterday morning Robby woke us up with an excitement in his voice that has been missing since the infection developed. He started jumping up and down on our bed while chanting, "My throat doesn't hurt at all Momom. It doesn't hurt anymore. Yee Haw!" Despite being only 5 in the morning I knew instantly that he was better and that there was no way I was going to convince him to go back to sleep.

After pouring myself two cups of coffee, I began to peruse the Labor Day ads. Suspecting that Robby's standard wardrobe of sweat pants (clean but almost always stained) and assorted jerseys was not going to make the cut for Kindergarten, I decided that we would take advantage of the sales and buy him some jeans. Armed with our circular and a happy little boy, we headed to Kohl's department store.

In retrospect, planning a shopping trip for the first day that he was feeling better was not my wisest Mom decision. I think his energy levels were not nearly as high as he thought, and he quickly became tired. As he became fatigued, he became grumpy and, before I knew it, Robby Rotten was wreaking havoc in the store.

Robby Rotten knocked down a pile of jeans because I told him that we were going to try them on to check the size. He ran through the shower curtain section while screaming, "I'm going to get naked and shower in here." As soon as I thought I had the situation in hand, he slipped out of my grasp and hid under the various clothing racks. He was bumping into shoppers and knocking clothes off the hangers. His abhorrent behavior was garnering me both looks of disdain and shunned whispers.

After literally dragging him by his feet from under the clearance rack, he knew that I was mad. Instead of behaving or even quieting down, he began to scream, "Please don't throw me in the trash can again tonight, Momom. Please don't make me sit in trash. It hurts my bum." Just to clarify, Robby has never been thrown into a trash, nor has he been forced to sit in garbage although sometimes his bedroom does bear an uncanny resemblance to a dump.

Scott, hearing the antics from across the store, simply handed me the car keys and took the cart to check out. I picked up my little cowboy boot flailing, arms thrashing, screeching hellion and took him to the car. But not before he screamed, "Please don't bite my ear off again, Momom" as we made our exit. I found myself trying to convince an elderly couple that I have not intention of biting my son's ear. They nodded, but judging by the level of his outburst and their shock, I doubt that they believed me.

Robby Rotten promptly fell asleep as soon as his booster seat was buckled. I sat in the car, mortified by his behavior and sure that everybody exiting the store was casting judgment upon my parenting skills. It is hard to believe that the precious little boy who cuddled up with me so sweetly during the past few days could morph into this little monster!

I am instituting a new family policy. Robby must feel better for at least 24 hours after an illness before we venture beyond our doors. It has been a long time since I have been that embarrassed. Now I have to drive an additional 40 minutes in order to redeem my Kohl's cash because I certainly can't return to my local store anytime soon!