Snake Charmer

I have come to the conclusion that I have few fears. This probably seems odd since I habitually lose sleep due to fretting. However, I've come to realize that fretting and worrying are different than experiencing true fears. Other than something happening to Robby or other members of my family, I am only truly afraid of two things: mice and snakes.  Unfortunately the two seem to always be paired together!

I do not live in a home conducive to avoiding these two critters. Living in the woods in a house riddled with cracks and small holes, the only thing that is missing is a formal welcome mat to make these vermin more comfortable. We've tried to make our home less rodent and serpent friendly, but we are fighting a losing battle.

Sunday afternoon, one of my worst fears was realized. There was a snake- a big snake- in our attic. As if knowing that the slithery foe was in the house wasn't enough, we could lay eyes on him, but he was virtually unreachable. He was perched in our attic, lying on top of the plastic sheeting that was covering a hole in our ceiling. We could see his entire chubby, and extremely long, body above our heads and the only thing separating us was the plastic.

I wanted to turn and run, but I knew that wasn't a viable option. Robby was upset, worried that the snake was going to fall on our heads. Scott was spinning in circles and wringing his hands, mumbling the same phrase, "We're screwed." With both of my boys frozen and nobody to call for help, I had to formulate a plan.

Allowing the snake to live in our attic was not an acceptable option. If I was going to continue calling this house home, he needed to go! Thankfully the snake stayed still as I formulated a plan and gathered the courage to continue. 

I grabbed my crutch and taped my sharpest steak knife to the tip, creating a spear. Reminding myself that I only needed to be brave for 10 seconds and with the personal promise of a cupcake when the deed was over, I finally gathered the gumption to proceed. I'll spare the details of how the snake was removed, but know that after the deed was committed, I ran out of the room, shrieking and weeping like a little girl. 

Scott cleaned up the mess and we reapplied new plastic sheeting over the hole. I'm glad I was able to garner the courage to act, but I still get the willies when I think about the snake living just above our heads in our house. Needless to say, I haven't slept well. Every time I hear a noise I wonder if it is the cicadas outside or another slithery intruder above my head.  I think I need to pull my sound machine out of the closet for awhile, or perhaps I'll just loop my IPOD to play "I Am Woman."