Foil

 Robby spent the weekend working on an essay detailing a time he overcame a stressful situation. I was not surprised that he chose to share his Dad's heart attack in his writing. Although logically Robby knows that the event was not his fault, the timing fits a different narrative. He continues to blame himself because his Dad was helping him move heavy boxes from the third floor of his dormitory. 

I read Robby's essay and I could see my little boy processing his pain and fears. As the months have passed and we have adjusted to our new normal as a cardiac family, I had assumed that Robby had fully processed and boxed his misguided guilt. Obviously I was wrong, and I feel like I have failed him.

Scott read the essay and became despondent that his heart attack negatively impacted his son. While I understand his perspective, I have to admit that my threshold for mollycoddling on that particular issue is low. The reality is that I have been the foil for every 'personal' essay that the boys have ever written. The 'my amputee mom taught me' is an easy prompt that both have fully explored through their directed writings. This is the first time that I have not been the topic, which honestly feels refreshing.

I hope Robby will allow me to share his essay.