Yesterday was emotionally and intellectually draining. The marathon meeting took almost five hours, but at the end the student is going to be served appropriately, which is a huge win. While I'm delighted for the outcome, the entire ordeal simply highlighted the fact that I do not fit in socially. While all of the administrators huddled before the meeting and during the break, I was relegated to standing against a wall by myself. Again.
I spend a lot of time wall hugging in this new job. I do not feel welcome into the teacher's lounges, so I try to respect their space and not infringe. Conversation attempts are either outright rebuffed or not reciprocated. Despite my efforts at every school, I have failed to make any social inroads. My conversations remain superficial at best and I'm tired of trying.
I came home from the meeting feeling happy for the student but deflated emotionally. Scott is right. It doesn't matter if I am working remotely or in person. At the end of the day, nobody cares about the contractor.
So, I've decided to abandon any aspirations of establishing friendships. If none of these individuals want to get to know me, so be it. It is there loss, because I'm delightful. (LOL) Instead, I'm going to focus on my students, and be the best instructor that I can be for them. They deserve it.
No comments:
Post a Comment