The Ball

Last night was an exciting one in our house. Robby's cotillion season (yes, apparently the course is referred to as a season) came to a close with the much anticipated Black and White Ball. He was excited and nervous all day, scared that the girls would say no when he asked them to dance and fearing that he would spill water on his rented tux. I reminded Robby that he was obliged to ask and that the young ladies were probably obliged to accept. Knowing that they would be forced to dance with him somehow eased his worried mind.

I thought it was adorable that he was so worried about dancing with a girl. Meanwhile I was worried about him breaking into fits of giggles when they formally welcomed him to "The Ball." Up until last night, he couldn't hear the term without turning red faced and breaking into peals of laughter. We actually practiced hearing "The Ball" without reacting so that he would be prepared.

Dressing him in his tuxedo was a feat worthy of a comedy routine. Neither Scott nor I have experience with tuxedos, and trying to wrangle one onto a squirming 10 year old was difficult at best. I took the back and Scott took the front, but it still took us nearly 20 minutes to dress him. Frustrated and worried about time, we told Robby to put the silver cuff links in his pocket to worry about later. His jacket extended over his sleeves, so we figured he would be okay.

Still, despite our best efforts Robby still looked awkward in his tuxedo. The vest fell too high on his waist, exposing the bleached white shirt underneath. Not knowing what to do, we advised him to suck in his gut and to deal with it. I explained that obviously they measured him wrong and provided the wrong sizes but that we had no choice but to make it work. 

Scott and Robby headed to the Ball while I stayed home to take care of Timmy.  About 30 minutes after they left I received a text photo from Scott with the explanation that the photographer fixed his tuxedo.  It wasn't the wrong size; it turns out that his parents are just idiots who couldn't figure out a tuxedo. 

Robby quickly threw us under the bus as they fixed his attire, explaining that his parents "had a hard time figuring out this cockamamie costume. For $100 it should have come with instructions or something. I mean really, that's a lot for one night." Lovely. Thanks, Robby the Parrot. And any hopes of maintaining family dignity evaporated when he pulled the cuff links from his pockets and asked what he was supposed to do with these "useless button thing-a-ma-bobs." 

Despite the dressing fiasco, Robby had a great time. I'm not sure we are meant to be a Cotillion family, but these lessons were good for him. At least he now knows how to put on a tuxedo which is a skill his parents lack.

Fun Play Day

Our midweek vacation has come to a close, and today everybody is returning to school. I know that both Robby and Scott are bummed that the snowfall wasn't enough to yield more than a two day respite. This winter has been a weather bust, but at least they had a little snow day magic.

Robby spent almost all day playing outside with his friend Rowan from down the street. We haven't seen her since September, but the snowy roads meant that her various extracurricular activities were canceled and she was able to play. Robby was over the moon when he saw her trudging down our driveway with sled in tow. Normally a multi-step process, he managed to throw on his winter gear in record time before running outside.  He finally came home at 5:30, frigid and famished.

I was delighted to watch him playing outside, laughing and having so much fun. Despite being busy with taekwondo, he has been lonely since his friend moved away last summer. While it turns out that his moving was actually a blessing, Robby has missed having somebody to buddy around with outside.  The pair get along well and have similar personalities. I'm certain the only reason that their friendship isn't stronger is because they lack the opportunity to get together.

Rowan excitedly told me that her schedule is easing up and that she will just be playing on one softball team this year. Most years she travels out west to stay with her grandmother, but this year she will be home during the summer. I'm hoping that she will be around so that Robby will have a friend to play with in the neighborhood again.

There is something special about having a friend live down the street. Being able to hop between houses and play all day through the neighborhood is something that Robby has been missing. He hasn't complained, yet I know that he has been lonely at times. As much as I try, I am a poor substitute for a neighborhood friend.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that her predictions are true and that she will indeed be able to play more frequently. Personally, I think it would be beneficial for all involved.

Snow Day 2

Happy Snow Day #2.  Needless to say, all three boys are delighted with the prospect of another day at home. Okay, Timmy doesn't really understand but again he was more than willing to participate in the celebration when the schools announced the closings. 

Compared to the predictions, our "blizzard" definitely failed to fulfill expectations. Despite the lackluster showing, we did receive enough snow to thoroughly coat the ground and to provide hours of amusement for the boys. The roads are fine (according to Scott who fled the chaos three separate times to go to the store) but the school systems were not able to adequately clear the parking lots and walkways. So, we have another snow day to relax and enjoy the benefits of being a teacher (Scott) and a student (Robby). 

Timmy thoroughly enjoyed watching the snow, and was fascinated when we took him out to explore. He didn't want to go sledding, but was more than happy licking snowballs and watching his brother play. I think he may need a few more snowstorms under his belt before he fully understands sledding and all of the snow fun available. I'm sure by next year I won't be able to keep him inside!

After a quick tromp through the snow in the morning, I spent the majority of the afternoon baking. I love filling the house with the aromas of freshly baked bread and cookies when everybody is home because of snow. It just makes everything feel cozier and warm when treats are lining the counters. After the cookies cooled, Robby donned his snow garb and took off through the neighborhood, delivering cookies to Mr. Bill and his friend down the street. I think that they have become accustomed to my baking tradition because neither seemed surprised by the treat delivery. 

I'm sure that Robby will resume playing in the snow today. He needs to make the most of this snowfall, because it is going to be a long time before he has the opportunity again. I hope.

Snow Day!

Snow day! 

After a winter yielding disappointing amounts of snow fun, the boys are finally enjoying their first snow day of the season. With both schools making the call to close schools early in the evening, everybody was able to get into the snow day spirit early. Timmy, unaware of the reason but wanting to be included, joined the fun by jumping up and down and squealing along with his brother and Daddy. I really wish I had captured a video of their little dance, but to be honest I was too busy participating. Sometimes you just have to stand up and dance with your family!

 

Yesterday, in anticipation of the snowfall, I readied all of the sleds. Mr. Bill helped me wax the rails on Robby's so that it glides easily down the hills. Timmy's brand new toddler sled was taken out of the basement and the bottom was treated to a quick wax. (We didn't want to make it too slick because I don't want my little daredevil to slide too quickly. We plan on him being pulled rather than sledding independently, so I wanted a little assistance.)

 

Right now the sun is starting to rise, and Timmy and I are the only ones awake. I'm sitting by the fireplace, sipping on a cup of coffee while he is peering out of the window loudly oohing and aahing of the odd white coating on everything. He even retrieved Puppy Blanket and his elephant so that they could have a look out the window. (It's absolutely adorable!)  I am certain he doesn't remember snow from last year but it probably won't take long before he wants to go outside to check it out. 

 

Typically March snowstorms are frustrating because we are tired of the snow routine. This year is different because it is the only snow we have seen this year. It isn't the biggest snow that we've encountered, but it is definitely a welcome event. I know that the boys are going to love playing in the fluffy cold wonderland.  It's a good thing I didn't put the hot chocolate machine away yet, I have a feeling it will be fired up at least a few times today.

 

Perspective

Scott and I moved into this house in January 2005. We were newly married and childless, yet I instantly envisioned raising a family in this home. We loved the small stream trickling at the bottom of the woods, the big windows and the exposed beams in the living room. From the moment we moved in our first boxes, I knew that I was going to create a memory wall in the living room. 

Time went on, children were born and I became busy with work. Photos were piled and moved into boxes instead of being displayed. I knew that someday I would work on my wall, but time was always in short supply.

With Timmy and I on germ lock down, I found myself with both the time and the motivation to finally create my wall. I spent hours framing and hanging our photos, some posed and some casually captured, on my memory wall. I am almost done with the existing photos, but I am loving the results. In the early morning, while Timmy is drinking his milk and watching a cartoon, I find myself looking at the wall and smiling. If my children ever lament their childhoods, I am just going to show them the wall, filled with wonderful memories and adventures.

As I was digging through boxes, I found a slew of photos from years before I knew Scott. Many I put into boxes and labeled for another time. Some, mostly of family members and a few friends, were hung downstairs in the new playroom.Robby enjoys looking at the photos of my more youthful years, and is quick to point out nuances that he notices. 

One particular photo has struck his interest, but not for the reasons I expected. The boardwalk "Old Time" photo (something I try to do whenever possible) captured my friend Tammy and I when we were fresh out of college. I thought for sure that Robby would remark on the slightly saucy outfit I was wearing (we chose the wild west cantina girl costumes). While I was correct that it was my appearance that struck Robby as odd, it had nothing to do with the costume I was wearing. 

The photo was taken in 1996, before my foot was injured. This snapshot was the first time Robby has ever seen me with two biological legs. I was taken aback by his revelation, but upon further reflection I guess it makes sense. While I'm sure I have some pictures tucked away in photo albums somewhere, I don't have full body photos of myself (especially pre-injury) displayed. All of the photos of my childhood, college years and early adulthood tend to be focused on my face.

He viewed the photo as a curiosity not because I was twenty years younger, but because it showed a part of me that he had never before seen. It definitely feels weird knowing that my son had never seen my biological leg. Sometimes it is refreshing to be reminded that, in his eyes, my being an amputee is just who I am and is neither unusual nor an oddity.

My Views

I think this weekend we are going to embark on a family-wide news hiatus. For the sake of my mental health, I need to disconnect for awhile. Each news report feels more heartbreaking than the latter, and I find myself spiraling deeper into frustration by the moment.

A few days ago Scott found out that the father of a student is being deported. Obviously, he was living here illegally. But this "illegal" individual is also an employee, a husband, a father, a church member, and a community volunteer. He has committed no crimes except for the minor traffic violation that caused him to be pulled over by police. This family is being torn apart, and children are being left without a father.

I understand the stance against illegal immigration is strong. Knowing the faces, the stories and the hearts behind the "offenders," the deportation issue becomes more complicated. This is an issue involving people, not just citizenship. I avoid discussing and debating these issues because I respect the views of others enough to realize that my perspective will not cause an epiphany to change their hearts. But since this is my blog, I feel that it is okay to reveal that my heart is being torn apart.  I certainly know enough to realize that I don't have a solution to the situation, but not knowing how to resolve an issue doesn't absolve me from feeling empathy for those involved.

The weather is supposed to be miserable, which provides the perfect excuse to curl up in front of the wood stove and hibernate for awhile.  Timmy will be delighted to stream cartoons all day, and I'm sure I can convince Robby to watch movies with me at night. I'm looking forward to my no news weekend!

Permission to be Sad

Yesterday the weather was warm so Timmy and I were able to hang out outside for a little while.  We are still in hibernation mode, but it was nice to be out of the house for awhile. Although he doesn't have a lot of energy, he loved playing with his trains on the driveway and swinging with me on our double porch swing. I think the fresh air did us both good!

I can't wait until he is completely healthy again so that we can properly resume playing outside. In the meantime, I'm going to make the most of the increased cuddling and quiet time.  We go back to the doctor next Friday, and I'm hoping that we have more information about his health status. Compared to other struggles faced by families with sick children, I know that ours is mild. But sometimes it doesn't feel mild when it is your reality. I am trying to remain thankful that he is not worse and that the situation is manageable, but lately I've been feeling sad that my perfect little Hamlet isn't perfectly healthy. 

Over the past few weeks I've realized that I am an incredibly social person, which is strange because I don't necessarily enjoy talking with people. I actually think I tend towards being shy (except when I'm hiding behind a keyboard) so the fact that I miss interacting has taken me off guard. I know that this time of isolation is temporary, but it is definitely starting to take a toll on my psyche.

I really miss our adventures and play areas. I don't want my little Timmy to have an autoimmune issue. I want him to be healthy, silly and crazy active again. I don't want to fret about him not eating and being pale. I want to be frustrated that he climbs everything and explores beyond my comfort zone. I am sure that this is just a little blip in his childhood, and that soon everything will be back to normal. But today I'm tired and I'm giving myself permission to be sad.