Weekend Plans

Happy Friday! We have a busy weekend scheduled but we will all be home so I'm not going to complain. As long as my time in the car is minimal and I wake up in my own bed, I will consider the weekend successful.

On Saturday we are headed to our farm for the Potato Dig. The event has become a family tradition and both boys are looking forward to attending again this year. I suspect that this year Timmy will fully grasp the event and will up his potato digging skills.  With two boys who love digging in the dirt, I should be set for the winter cooking!

Sunday afternoon we have tickets to Cirque Italia. I don't have any expectations, but hopefully everybody will enjoy the show. Robby was utterly mesmerized when we took him to the traveling Cirque Du Soleil show earlier this year. Hopefully he will be just as impressed by the knock-off one we are seeing on Sunday. 

More than anything else, I am looking forward to just relaxing at home. I need to catch up on laundry and hang out with the kitties. My September calendar is beginning to fill up so I am trying to enjoy my downtime while I have it.

Fair

This morning I am home (finally). 

Last night we fulfilled one of our final summer traditions by going to our county fair. Although it was hot, we thoroughly enjoyed the absence of rain. It feels as if it has rained nonstop since May. Everyday without precipitation feels like a gift!

We all had fun, but Timmy definitely enjoyed the fair the most. He stuffed his toy Yoshi into his front pocket and had a blast riding the small amusements with his toy. He giggled, squealed and laughed throughout the night, soaking in every moment.  Robby had fun, but his struggle with motion sickness sidelined his enjoyment of the rides. 

This morning Scott returns to work, officially ending his summer vacation. Robby is still home for another week before he embarks on his new educational adventure. Not that I'm counting down, but I can see the light at the end of the chaos filled summer!

Travel Ban

After 8 hours on a train and over an hour in a taxicab, I am tired of traveling. I arrived back at my Mom's last night wiped out from sitting on moving vehicles all day. Although I wasn't physically active, I can consider the time well spent because of what I accomplished during the trip. I took full advantage of the Amtrak Wi-Fi and worked nonstop on my computer. 

My appointment went well and was relatively quick. I was able to catch an earlier train home, for which I was grateful. I wasn't looking forward to killing three hours at Penn Station. Sometimes I would relish the chance to browse and walk around the city for a few hours.  Yesterday was not one of those days. 

This morning I am packing up my boys and heading home. After I arrive, I officially declaring a boycott on all travel for the foreseeable future. Robby and Scott need some quiet time before the hustle and bustle of the school year resumes. I need time to decompress and prepare for the impending chaos. And Timmy has been needing some quality time with his trains.

NYC

Greetings from an Amtrak train en route to New York City.  This is a short trip with my going there and back in the same day. Even though I'm feeling travel weary, I'm feeling excited about this brief getaway. 

I love New York City. The energy of the city is intoxicating. While I would be miserable living there, I love visiting for short periods of time. I can't wait to get off of the train and see the sights and hear the sounds of the city. 

Experiencing New York City isn't the only reason I'm feeling excited. In reality, I'm excited about being alone and without parental responsibilities for several hours on the train. The kids have been especially high maintenance since we came home from Florida. I don't know if they are having trouble settling into a home routine or are bored with summer and in need of structure, but my little cherubs are driving me crazy. 

Usually I am depressed when summer comes to an end, but this year I find myself eagerly checking off days on the calendar. Of course the boys are not nearly as ready to return to the school schedule as me so I have to temper my back-to-school enthusiasm. But if I am completely honest with myself, I have to admit that I feel a surge of gleeful anticipation when I see back-to-school ads on television. 

More Travel

Yesterday Scott drove to Ohio for his cousin's visitation and funeral. It was a seven hour drive but I'm sure if felt even longer because of the circumstances.  Last night he attended the visitation and this morning he will go to her funeral before turning around and heading back home. I wish that he could have stayed longer with his family, but Tuesday is his first official day back to work. Sadly, summer vacation is officially over for Scott.

A few hours after he left I packed up the boys and headed to Pennsylvania. I am going to NYC tomorrow for work and my Mom is going to watch the boys for me. Thankfully it is a short trip with me going there and back on the same day. I typically enjoy taking the train to the city, but with all of our recent travel I'm having trouble capturing my sense of adventure. Right now I just want to be home and return to normalcy.

Robby is delighted to be at their Nana's again. The Cousin Crew winding down their summer vacation, but they plan on enjoying their last few days together. Last night we played Truth or Dare, a truly enlightening experience for this Mom, before staying up to play poker while waiting for the meteor shower to arrive. 

I think all of the kids are in for a shock when the school schedule resumes in a few weeks.  

Slapped by Reality

Vacation is over and reality has slapped both Scott and me in the face. Almost as soon as we arrived home the bad news came at us like a tsunami wave. Both of us are feeling worn down and we have been home for less than one week.

Tragically, Scott's cousin passed away earlier this week. She leaves two school aged boys with whom she had a tight bond. The older boy is just a year older than Robby, and I cannot fathom the pain that her boys feeling. 

Shannon was a kind and sweet person who valiantly fought against cancer for nearly a decade. While her death was not a shock, it is just as tragic. There is a new void in the family, and we are all heartbroken with her passing.

I think all families go through seasons. There are years where the family welcomes new members through marriages and births. Those are happy years. 

I fear that we are in the midst of the season of loss, when the senior generation begins to pass away and younger members are tragically taken through illnesses or accident. Those are difficult and painful years as everybody learns to cope with a void in the family unit. The family is forever changed by the grief.

This will be his third family funeral in five months. Instead of happily unpacking from our trip and getting settled back into our routine, he is now packing to go to another funeral. All of the losses are wearing heavy on everybody, especially Scott.  

As I was helping Scott locate his funeral suit, I received a message that a cousin of my Dad's (and hence my cousin) was admitted to hospice. My brother, whom I love dearly, recently has relapsed and is again struggling with his addiction demons. I am feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and fear as I ponder the losses that may be on the horizon.  

Fumes or Fire

Just a few days ago I was lounging by the pool in the Florida sunshine. I felt relaxed and was experiencing no anxiety. My goodness that didn't last long!

I wish that the vacation vibe could last all year, but I suppose then it wouldn't be special. Feeling relaxed reminded me that I need to do a better job taking care of myself. Like so many women in this country, and probably around the world, I tend to take care of everybody else first. Timmy, Robby, Scott and my professional demands always take priority. Somehow, I had managed to convince myself that my needs were more whim than necessary.

Feeling completely relaxed and stress-free, I realized that I need to put myself higher on the priority hierarchy. I am a better person when I feel strong and healthy. When I'm worn down, everybody is only benefiting from my fumes instead of from my full fire.  

Of course realizing that I need to prioritize myself and actually doing it are two completely separate things. A huge lifestyle large lifestyle change will only stress me out, completely defeating the purpose. Instead I have decided to introduce one small habit into my routine. If successful, I'll add another in a few weeks. Hopefully these incremental changes will add up over time.  

I've decided that I am going to start by reintroducing meditation into my life. I was in the habit of meditating each evening and I felt that the practice was helping me center. When the boys became ill with the flu I became too tired to meditate. Slowly I just lost track of the habit and my meditation app hasn't been opened in months.  

Here's to reclaiming part of vacation Peggy!