An Apple A Day Does NOT Keep the Doctor Away

All signs point towards little Hamlet being allergic to apples. At first he would just develop bright red cheeks and chin after eating applesauce, essentially making him look like a pint sized clown. While adorable, I suspected that it probably wasn't a healthy reaction and avoided the fruit. 

Unfortunately he was inadvertently fed applesauce over the weekend when I was at the ER getting my wrist checked. Monday he showed some signs of a rash but I didn't think much of it.  He crawls everywhere and often exhibits bumps etc. from scaling every obstacle in his path. Tuesday morning he woke up covered in hives. From his forehead to his ankles, my little Timmy was covered in tiny red bumps. Needless to say, he was miserable. 

I wasn't sure the source of his reaction until his cheeks turned bright pink, tipping me off that he might have consumed apples. After his eating applesauce was confirmed, I called his pediatrician. We have an appointment with a pediatric allergist next Thursday, and in the meantime he is on an extremely restricted diet. On the advice of his doctor we are only offering  a handful of foods we know to be safe until we have more information.

I'm really worried that his apple allergy is only the tip of the iceberg, and that more foods might be involved. I'm hoping that I'm wrong and that I am just worrying for nothing. Ultimately we will adjust and handle whatever restrictions he needs, but I am hoping that his limitations will be few. In the meantime, yesterday I purged the freezer of all of our applesauce and whipped up 4 cakes. Scott's students will benefit from Timmy's aversion.

No Cookies for Her!

I learned a long time ago that friendships are dynamic, constantly changing and evolving. I have friends whom I rarely see and don't talk to as often as I would like, but when we do connect, it is as if time stood still. On the other end of the spectrum, I have relationships that are high maintenance and unbalanced but are maintained probably more out of a sense of courtesy and obligation than an honest desire.  Sometimes I just find it easier to play nice, smile and not make waves. I am well aware that my aversion to conflict plays a huge part in these relationships.

I find that I often go out of my way to avoid rocking the boat, especially in respect to relationships. Don't get me wrong, I will walk away from toxic relationships. It isn't easy for me to stand up to defend needs and emotions, but I will do it when push comes to shove. But I admittedly tend to hold onto some people longer simply because it is easier. 

Maintaining neighbor relationships can be tricky.  I don't feel it necessary to become friends with my neighbors. Just because we live on the same street does not mean that we share the same values and interests. (Mr. Bill is an exception, and I truly value our friendship. It has evolved slowly over time, and I consider myself lucky to count him among my friends.) For the most part, I strive to maintain a friendly relationship but I don't expect anything more substantial. 

I've always had a good relationship with my neighbors. With the exception of the deranged old woman who constantly called the police (who is now living in a nursing home), I have had few issues during the decade since we moved here.  I consider myself a good neighbor, frequently delivering baked goods and pitching in whenever necessary. I thought we lived in a happy, cohesive neighborhood, which is why I was shocked to learn that my neighbor admitted to not liking me.

I realized that I haven't spoken with her in a few months, but between her snowbird lifestyle and my schedule, I assumed it was just a matter of timing. It never occurred to me that she was deliberately avoiding me. Why would she avoid me? After all, I think I'm delightful! 

All kidding aside, I haven't been able to shake off the fact that she doesn't like me. I have invested far too much mental energy trying to figure out the reasons and to devise situations to redeem myself. Then I had an epiphany- this is her issue. I've done nothing wrong, and have been only kind and generous with both my time and efforts. I have watched her dog during her three week vacation, baked countless cookies and cakes, helped shovel their driveway and even spent far too many hours helping her "organize" her treasures for an Ebay sale. 

Upon reflection, I have done far more for her than she has ever done for us. I don't know why she doesn't like me, and at this point I really don't care any more. I am going to continue to smile and be kind, but she is being cut out of our baked good delivery rotation.  If you don't like me, you don't get my cookies!

Special Surprise

Timmy has a propensity for early mornings which is not my preference. Ever since my chemo treatment, mornings have been even more difficult. Each morning I wake up feeling as if I have the flu. My limbs are heavy, my thoughts disoriented and my body is weak. Needless to say, it is beginning to be depressing!

In addition to what I have dubbed the "chemo flu," yesterday morning was especially difficult because of my wrist. It is still tender and sore, reminding me that I am injured each time I move incorrectly or try to use my fingers without deliberate thought. While I knew that I was pushing the limits of Timmy's patience, and that he could start screaming at any moment, I just couldn't seem to get my body motivated to move. I managed to get moving and to Timmy before he morphed into a full blown meltdown, saving the boys from an unwelcome wake up call.

I was sitting in my rocking chair, watching Hamlet happily chase a ball around the living room floor while feeling especially sorry for myself. I don't throw pity parties often, but when I do, I usually make sure that they are spectacular! I was in the midst of a full blown wallowing session when I opened my email and read a message that immediately brought me out of my self-imposed darkness.

Somebody, I don't know who, sent me a gift card for Toys R Us. I was shocked by the generous gift and, although it was given anonymously, I want the giver to know how much it is appreciated. I remain completely overwhelmed by the loving gesture. It feels like I have been inundated with negativity and sadness lately. Receiving the anonymous gift was the lift that I needed to remind me that caring and wonderful people do exist. I consider myself truly blessed to have so many people care about me. 

We are putting the gift card towards the swing set we have been coveting and, thanks to my anonymous friend, it will be delivered in time for Timmy's birthday party.  Robby was so excited to learn that we are finally getting the swing set, something that he has been wanting for several years now. I know that Timmy will probably enjoy swinging as much as his big brother, but he just doesn't know it yet. 

So to whomever sent me the unexpected gift, I want to say thank you.  Not only for the present, but for caring and reminding me that life is wonderful. I respect your anonymity, but please know that I will think of you every time I swing with my boys. 

Injured Reserve- again

This was my Mom's birthday weekend, and I was hoping that it would be as memorable and special as she.  I managed to find what I think was the perfect gift for her: a gnome bird bath. I knew that she was going to love it, and I couldn't wait to see her face when I gave it to her.  I'm typically not good at keeping secrets, but I managed to give her the gift without ruining it first. 

After meeting my mom and sister at our typical halfway point (a McDonald's parking lot), we decided to go to lunch. I was child free, so it didn't take much convincing for me to spend more time away from home! Other than the two weeks caring for my Dad, which hardly counts as carefree, I can't remember the last time I was able to enjoy an afternoon without at least one of my kids in tow. 

We decided to go to Glory Days in Frederick MD, mainly because the offerings in the area are extremely limited.  Our lunch was enjoyable, nothing stellar from a culinary perspective but it was nice to just sit and relax. Knowing that I had a long drive home, I visited the ladies room before leaving. As I was walking out of the restroom, my happy afternoon turned into a disaster.

A waitress, obviously in a hurry and not looking, came around the corner and plowed into me. I felt like a hockey player as I was body checked into the wall, only I didn't have the benefit of wearing protective pads. She was little, but she was moving so quickly that the momentum of her hit managed to move me several feet.

As I limped back to the table, I knew something was wrong. My Mom took one look at me and immediately knew that I had injured my wrist. It was swollen, tender to touch and painful to move. I didn't want to admit it, but eventually I couldn't deny the reality that I had been injured.

Our plans of meeting halfway were for futile because she ended up having to drive me home. (My sister drove behind us in her car so that my Mom would have a ride back home.) My wrist continued to swell during the drive, and by the time we pulled onto our street, I had resigned myself to needing an x-ray. 

My Mom and sister ended up babysitting the boys so that Scott could take me to the emergency room. After a few hours I returned home with my hand immobilized in a splint.  The x-rays revealed no obvious breaks, which is good news. I was diagnosed with a severe bone contusion with possible ligament and tendon issues, and I was provided with a referral for a hand/wrist specialist.  In the meantime, I am to keep my hand in the splint and my movements to a minimum.

Yet again my Mom ended up coming to my rescue. On a day that was supposed to honor and spoil her, she ended up driving down to Virginia and taking care of my boys. I definitely owe her a birthday do-over! In the meantime, I am going to visit the hand specialist and hope that everything heals quickly. I'm extremely frustrated that I am hurt, especially since I did absolutely nothing wrong! (Unlike my concussion, which is completely my fault.)

Head Banger

Yesterday was not one of my best days.

My morning started off on a positive note when Elliot was able to adjust my socket to alleviate the pain I was feeling. It is amazing how much lighter I always feel when I am walking without discomfort! Timmy was even quasi-cooperative during the appointment, which bolstered my hopes for a good day.

Unfortunately the day went downhill after I left his office. Timmy's mood soured almost as soon as I buckled him into his car seat. He proceeded to scream the entire drive home (nearly 60 minutes due to construction traffic). I thought that the meltdown would have tired him out. Instead his energy seemed to be intensified by his ire. By the time we arrived home he was a sweaty, angry mess and I was exhausted with a headache. 

Timmy settled down long enough for him to eat his lunch before I had to put him in the car to go work with Abby. He loudly vocalized his displeasure at being put back into the car and only stopped screaming when he finally dozed off -about 15 minutes before we arrived.  Needless to say, he was not amused at being woken up and moved when we arrived.

Abby was not feeling well, so our appointment was shortened. After I strapped a wiggly Hamlet into his car seat, I walked to the end of the driveway to open the wrought iron gates. With my head bent down (looking for the latches in the ground) I pushed on the gate. In a flash the gate flew back, hitting me squarely on the top of my forehead. 

I felt pain, and then I felt the gravel driveway beneath my cheek when I fell.  I had managed to knock myself out. The rest of the day I was disoriented, tired and frustrated by the ringing in my ears. I called the doctor which turned out to be a waste of time. I was told to avoid strenuous activities, not to hit my head again for six weeks, and not to drive any heavy machinery.  (I guess I'll have to put off participating in that demolition derby another month.)

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying (in vain) to focus and work. I finally acquiesced to the injury and shut down my computer early.  Hopefully today will be a better day because I think I am overdue!

Procrastination Mistake

This morning I am headed to see Elliot for a socket adjustment, and the appointment could not come soon enough. During the past few days I have developed a knot on the front of the bone which has become extremely painful. I suspect that the knot is the result of a misaligned socket that, to be completely honest I should have addressed weeks ago when I first started to notice. Unfortunately between my Dad being sick and ultimately dying and my work commitments, I just haven't been able to carve out the time in my schedule to take care of my leg.

Lesson learned, and I am now dealing with the true life consequences of my procrastination. The slight rubbing caused some inflammation, which in turned created more friction between my leg and the socket. I am now at the point where I have spot the circumference of a baseball on my bone that is red, inflamed and tender to the touch.

I have been trying to stay off my leg as much as possible, but being a Mom makes it is nearly impossible to stay off my feet. Timmy is into absolutely everything and loves nothing more than being pushed in his little stroller trike next to his big brother riding his new bicycle. Although I have thoroughly enjoyed spending so much time outside with my boys, I am now dealing with the result of all of the walking in a misaligned socket. 

Needless to say, right now I am not terribly fond of being an amputee. I am tired of having to schedule adjustments and new sockets into my already overflowing life. I just want things to be easy and maintenance free. I wish that I didn't have to worry about these issues and that the biggest ramification of my walking would be an occasional blister from a new pair of shoes. 

Of course, my limb loss is one thing that I definitely cannot change. I know that my mood will lift as soon as the pain wanes. Hopefully Elliot will be able to work his magic, and I'll resume my normal life this afternoon. I did learn that procrastination and prosthetics are not an advantageous combination!  The next time I sense a problem, I am going to make it a priority before it becomes a more debilitating issue.

Defeated.

Yesterday was not one of my best days of motherhood. Timmy woke up early, well before the sun rose, and appeared to regret his insistence of being sprung from his crib almost immediately. He was grumpy and difficult to comfort for two hours until he finally fell asleep (probably due to exhaustion.)  By the time he  fell asleep I had consumed two cups of coffee, jolting me awake. My going back to sleep was not going to be a viable option, so I opened up my computer and began to work.

By the time Scott left for work I already had nearly 4 hours of work under my belt for the day. It's a good thing that I was so productive early in the morning, because Timmy was a little ball of need and want all day. From the food that I provided to the way that I tried to hold and soothe him, apparently I could do nothing right. Needless to say, it was a rough day.

To add another layer of dissatisfaction to the day, my phantom ankle was aching all day. It felt like I needed to crack the joint, which was obviously not possible because it is missing. I hate those phantom sensations. It wasn't enough pain to force me to take medication, but it was just enough discomfort to be annoying and tiring. I'm sure that the rain contributed to the issue, but knowing the cause did nothing to diminish the annoyance.

By the time Scott came from from work I was treading on my last frayed nerve. I would like to think that I said hello before I handed him a red faced bundle of discontent, but to be honest I am not certain.  I just passed him off and ran straight to the bathroom.

I locked the door, took a deep breath and polished off the last of my stashed chocolate treats. Yesterday, I was defeated by an 11 month old.