Pop-Up Show

After more than a month away from the grind this weekend we will return to the FlexyFriends pop-up circuit. We have been printing nonstop since the New Year in anticipation of our winter and spring shows, the first of which is tomorrow. We don't expect it to host Black Friday sized crowds (although that would be amazing), but we are optimistic that sales will be steady. 

Unlike other shows, tomorrow's event is only four hours long. I'm glad we are tip-toeing back into the hustle rather than immediately jumping into a three-day event.  My mind is still whirling from Scott's signing his retirement form and I need some time over the weekend to devise a plan for the next few months. If we are actually going to go forward with "the great plan," which is case because he signed his intent to retire form, we need to get moving on packing, selling, locating a new home and moving. All of these are supposed to be done by August. Looking at the stuff cluttering every corner of my home, I don't see that happening!

But before I even start to make a list or stress about selling FlexyFriends tomorrow I need to get through today. Robby has his enrichment classes, which means that I will spend several hours driving. The trips are long (only because of traffic) but I am learning to enjoy our time together. Next year he will be gone and I know that I will miss these opportunities.

Intent to Retire

 Yesterday was a big day in our family. After 30 years of teaching (in the same school), he signed his 'intent to retire' paper. He has been counting down and dreaming of retiring for years so seeing his signature on that paper should not have come as a shock. Yet when he handed me a copy for the scrapbook I found my hand shaking. What had been so abstract is now very real, and I'm not sure I'm ready!

I am so excited for him, but this change terrifies me. In the next few months everything is going to be flipped on its head. I'm really struggling to embrace the adventure side of this situation because my instinct is to hide under my covers. Overwhelmed does not even come close to explaining how I feel. In six months Robby will be gone and Scott will be home all the time. We will be in a different house, in a different state, leading different lives. It all feels so scary but I know that the end result is going to be wonderful for our family. 

With Scott's signature on the bottom of his intent paper a domino of paperwork and tasks has been started. I think this is going to be a 'keep your head down and just knock things off the list' mentality if I want to keep treading life through the next few months. Between navigating paperwork for college and for retirement, I am in uncharted territory.

Lost Friend

I woke up feeling good and excited for the day. After slurping down some coffee while walking Friend I came inside to check my email and social profiles. My heart sank when I read of the suicide of an amputee friend. Although I did not know her personally I have been trying to support and mentor her since her amputation nearly four years ago. The news of her suicide left me feeling gutted.

Logically I know that I am not responsible, but I cannot help but reflect and wonder if I should have done things differently. I knew that she was struggling a few months ago but everything seemed to have calmed down. She recently received a new prosthesis and my last messages with her were positive. 

But obviously everything wasn't okay because now she is gone. Her daughters are left without their mother and a husband is left mourning his wife. I don't understand the depths of despair that she must have been feeling to take such a drastic and catastrophic step. My heart is breaking. I feel guilty even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. 

I just don't understand.

Ready?

 Another dreary and rainy weekend has come and gone. If it had been 20 degrees colder we would be playing in mountains of snow this morning. Unfortunately it was nearly 50 degrees so instead we are navigating a minefield of worms on our road and driveway. It may be the end of January, but it feels like Spring.

With both boys being ill last week my days felt chaotic and wonky. I probably should have spent the weekend decluttering and packing. Instead I ended up binging The Sopranos while doing nothing of consequence. I am waking up feeling relaxed but a tad behind the eight ball. 

Today everybody will return to school and our schedules will resume. This is the beginning of Robby's final semester in high school. Just writing that causes me to pause. I can't believe he is graduating in mere months!  

I'm not ready for this...

Lazy, Not Stupid

 Sigh.  It's only January and already we are being asked to declare our intentions next year. Scott received his "intent to retire" form yesterday at school. He hasn't signed it yet but I suspect it will be submitted today. It is a very big move for him (and a scary one for me) but I know that he is excited. I'm not sure what it will look like having a retired husband but I guess I'll find out next year.

While Scott is busy addressing his intentions for next year, yesterday Timmy was invited to sit in on the classroom he will transition to when he enters Fourth grade next September. He hasn't been in school all week because of the flu so he wasn't properly prepped for the classroom switch. Thankfully my little Hamlet has become quite versed at going with the flow and happily logged into a novel classroom for the day.

Timmy was tight lipped about his experience in the new classroom but he seemed content by the end of the day. I still have not decided where he will attend school next year because so much of that decision depends upon where we settle. In the meantime, I'm just trying to keep this year afloat. Since I'm not sure where we are going to end up, I am proceeding as if Timmy will stay enrolled in the same school. 

Although Timmy was short on feedback about the new classroom, his future teacher emailed me last night. (As a former educator, I appreciated the outreach.) She told me that she enjoyed getting to know Timmy and that she is looking forward to next year. When she asked Timmy to share something about himself, he offered the following words. "You should know that I can be lazy but I'm not stupid. There is a difference."  

At least he is honest?

Normalcy

 After more than a week the battle against the germs has finally turned our way. Yesterday afternoon was the first time that both boys were without fevers. Although they were both tired and worn out from being sick and not eating for so long, they are both on the road to recovery. Today Robby will begin his second semester classes and Timmy will return to school. Yay for normalcy!

Our snow, which fell so beautifully last week when I was sick, is now being melted by the rain. So much for our winter wonderland! Instead of the yard being blanketed with a beautiful sparkly white covering everything is slopped with mud and wind debris. Thankfully Friend will be content to curl up on the couch today rather than jump in the mud.

Today is going to be rainy and dreary, but I'm not going to let that impact my mood. The kids are better and everybody is returning to school. After a really long week of vomiting and fevers, normalcy feels like a vacation!

Sick House

 Yesterday was spent nursing both boys while doing copious amounts of laundry. Both have been hit hard by the flu, leaving them with high fevers, chills and every other unsavory symptom. I'm grateful that the vomiting stopped by the afternoon and I'm optimistic that the gastrointestinal symptoms are fading. The amount of laundry that we have been churning through over the past few days borders on the obscene.  

Thankfully I'm recovered (enough) to take care of everybody. My fever has been gone for a few days and, while I'm still fatigued from being so sick, my days have been full-steam ahead taking care of the boys. I hate seeing them so sick! This time it is especially hard because I know that I probably gave it to them. 

Another day in the Chenoweth sick house. I hope you are staying healthy!