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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Defending our Decision

I am fed up with people telling me how I should be raising my child. Specifically, I am tired of hearing everybody's opinion about the intrinsic value of full-day kindergarten. For some reason, our decision to pursue half-day kindergarten next year is a "hot button" issue for others.

Scott and I are comfortable with the decision that we've made. We've weighed our options, and firmly believe that half day is the best choice for our family. As far as we are concerned, there is no debate. We are the parents, we are educated on the topic and we have made our decision.

I am shocked at how many "casual friends" feel compelled to offer their opinions on the topic. Of course, I suppose I wouldn't be as bothered if their thoughts mirrored our decision. Instead, I find myself constantly being forced to defend the virtues of half day kindergarten.

Yesterday I was informed by a well-meaning neighbor that I wrong by passing up the all day option. She actually looked at me and told me that I was being selfish, and that I wasn't keeping Robby's well-being as my priority. I was shocked at the gall of this woman!

My surprise morphed into anger as I found myself in another discussion outlining the reasons behind our choices. I have never, nor would I ever, offer parenting advice to this family. We don't have that type of relationship. How dare she interfere and force me to defend our family decision!

I spent the remainder of the afternoon fuming over the accusation that I was a selfish parent. I have put my career ambitions on hold to raise Robby. We have made drastic changes to our lifestyle so that I can stay home with him full time. Knowing the sacrifices that we have made for Robby, I am furious that anybody would call me selfish. Yet, for some reason people seem to think that I am a bad mother for wanting to keep him home part time next year.

I don't understand why opting for half day kindergarten is such a hot button issue for others. I figured as long as Scott and I are comfortable with our decision that it would be easily accepted. After all, what school we send our son to really isn't anybody's business.

Motherhood is riddled with self-doubt and guilt. I am constantly second guessing my decisions and I have spent countless nights without sleep as I worry about failing. Being a parent would be easier if we offered each other more support instead of criticism and casting judgment.

It is ironic that I worry about everything, yet I am completely confident in our kindergarten choice. I just wish I didn't have to spend so much time defending our decision.

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