Farm Fun

 Well, I shattered my promise to take it easy. After a trip to see Elliot for a socket adjustment, I left feeling optimistic that my skin issues were a thing of the past. The rubbing was gone and although my leg was still tender from the existing sores, the cream that Elliot provided made walking considerably more comfortable. Although I probably should have delayed our adventure, the weather was so beautiful that I wanted to soak up every moment.  I sprung Robby a little early from school and we headed out to enjoy the day.

I spent the afternoon playing with the boys at Great Country Farms, a sprawling agriculture themed playground (with the benefit of being a true working farm.) Since joining their CSA (community supported agriculture) program, we have been going to the farm every Wednesday. We pick up our allotted veggies and head into the field to pick whatever is in season, and then we spend some time playing and exploring. Yesterday was our last CSA pick up, and I have to admit that we are sad to see the season end. Adding a weekly farm adventure into our schedule has been enjoyed by all of us.

Timmy and Robby spent almost three hours playing around the farm yesterday, jumping and running. Well, Robby was walking and Timmy was sprinting at full speed trying to keep up with his big brother. It was truly an adorable site! After about an hour my leg started to throb, but watching my boys play and hearing them laugh, I wasn't about to let my leg discomfort end our adventure prematurely. I decided to follow my little farmer's lead about when we would head home. Turns out we closed down the farm.

My leg is sore today, but my boys went to bed exhausted and smiling. The cream Elliot gave me definitely helped to thwart any other damage, so thankfully our outdoor adventure didn't cause any further damage. Hopefully my leg is on the mend, and I can soon put all of these issues behind me.

Plugging Away

After the pain I experienced yesterday morning while trying to get out of bed, it was both surprising and delightful to be able to stand up this morning without any issues. Every muscle in my body is sore, but the absence of pain is liberating. I'm going to continue to nurse my back today in the hopes of thwarting another injury. It's hard to slow down, even with sores and a back injury, when trying to keep up with an extremely adventurous little toddler. 

I am managing to keep my leg sores under control. They aren't getting worse, but to be honest I'm not convinced that they are getting better either. Ugh! I hate dealing with these issues. Situations, such as sores or an uncomfortable socket, always remind me of the fragility of my mobility. I am far more comfortable pushing that reality into the back of my mind so that I don't have to think about it. Again, avoidance seems to be my go to coping mechanism. 

I'm thrilled that my back spasms are over, but I have to admit that I'm feeling sad today. Maybe sad isn't the right descriptor. Perhaps overwhelmed would be more apt. My to-do pile is steadily growing and, as much as I try, I just can't seem to keep up. I guess I'll keep trying. 

5%

I remember a college professor remarking that 95% of all health problems are held by 5% of the population. I was astounded by that distribution. Being young, I shrugged off the statistic with a "stinks to be in the 5%" youthful attitude. Never did I think that his statistic would become my reality.

I have developed sores on my stump.  They are moderately painful, and so far it has not become infected. I'm extremely vigilant about skin health because I have witnessed (through my friends) how quickly a small blister can spin out of control.  I've tried to curtail my walking, although explaining to my little Hamlet that I can't play outside has been futile. Given my circumstances, I have been doing my best. 

My gait has definitely been compromised because of the sores. My adjusted gait has been an awkward strain on my back muscles. My back was sore when I went to bed last night, but I was hopeful that relaxing would help.  I lathered my stump with antibiotic ointment and settled in for the night. 

I tried to get out of bed to get Timmy when he wailed out my 4 AM wake-up call. Instantly I knew that I had a problem. I was frozen by pain, radiating from the center of my lower back through both legs and up my torso. I could feel the waves of spasm waft over my body, rendering me both helpless and in utter agony.  The only way I can come close to describing the pain would be to liken the experience to full body labor.

With each torturous movement, I was finally able to stand. I slowly bent to put on my leg and a spasm overtook me. I knew that I needed to lie flat to stretch the muscles, but I couldn't move. After what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, I couldn't handle the pain and I was desperate to lie down. I felt captive by my own body.

I fainted. It definitely wasn't the  most advantageous way of reaching my goal of lying flat, but it certainly worked. Perhaps it was my body's way of helping me move.  Although fainting scared me, I was grateful to be lying down where I could I could stretch my muscles.

My back continued to spasm for the next hour, but the intensity and frequency lessened. I was finally able to stand and walk, albeit gingerly and with deliberate movements. I hate getting old. I hate being part of the 5%.

Too Much Research

Scooter spent the majority of the weekend in bed, convalescing from his oral surgery. Although he is still achy and swollen, the deep pain has waned. He is returning to work today, but I worry about his readiness. I tried to encourage him to stay home for another day, but he is determined.  I know that he won't cause any damage by going to work, but I hate knowing that he is going to be in pain.  Because he is trying to return to work, his pain will be addressed with ibuprofen instead of the narcotics that he has been relying upon over the weekend.  I'm hoping that his body is ready to make the transition.

I worry about his pain management, but I think that returning to a routine may be helpful. I was hoping that having successfully completed the surgery would have ended his surgical anxiety. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Only now instead of worrying about the upcoming procedure, he has switched his focus to examining and researching every nuance of the recovery. He is constantly searching forums and websites, grasping onto every tidbit and nugget of information about what might happen during the healing process. My efforts have switched from trying to reassure him that everything will be okay to promising him that everything is okay. I hate seeing him so apprehensive, I wish that there was something I could do to make him believe that he will be okay.

While Scott was resting, I did my best to entertain the boys. Thankfully the weather cooperated, providing two sun filled and crisp days for us to enjoy. Timmy was content running around the yard chasing leaves while Robby worked furiously cracking hickory nuts. We now have a bucket of cracked hickory nuts drying in anticipation of making hickory nut cookies for Mr. Bill. Any guesses about this weeks baking project?

The Wanderer

It turns out that my patient is a bit of a wanderer.  Getting up and roaming immediately following surgery is a foreign concept for me, probably because the majority of my procedures have involved my leg and access to mobility. I was adequately prepared to help him manage his pain, his swelling and his dietary restrictions. I had the bed ready for his return and was anticipating a few days of running back and forth to tend to whatever needs arose. I wasn't prepared to play hide and seek with a disoriented and non-compliant patient!

My big explorer was easy to find. Not only was he slow and staggered in his pace, but he left a Hansel and Gretel type trail of blood marking his path. Needless to say, constantly cleaning my floors quickly became old. Reasoning with him was futile as he insisted that he was fine and was being "good." When I told him that he wasn't being "good," his little drugged face contorted and he almost cried. I tucked him back into bed and made him promise to stay still.  Not trusting his pledge, I put Robby on "Daddy watch," instructing him to squawk every time he tried to get out of bed.  Between Scott trying to roam and Robby ratting him out, our house was rather loud and chaotic.

It was during this time that Timmy decided to lock himself in our bathroom. I tried to release the lock but was unsuccessful. Between him screaming behind the locked door and Scott fumbling around trying to "help" (but only succeeding in leaving circular blood trails), I knew I needed to call in some reinforcements.  I sent Robby over to get Mr. Bill to help with the door.

After confirming that the door lock was indeed broken, Mr. Bill set out to free Timmy by removing the knob. I tucked Scott back into bed and cleaned the blood off the floor. Within a few minutes my red faced, scared little toddler was free from his bathroom prison. Thankfully the trauma was quickly forgotten after handing him two animal crackers.

Scott tried to get out of bed to walk Mr. Bill to the door. He was instructed to go back to bed with the threat of handcuffing him to the headboard if he doesn't listen. It was then that Mr. Bill offered to lend us his handcuffs which he claimed were "covered in satin and wouldn't leave a mark." With a knowing wink, he just said that he probably won't need them back for awhile because Shelly (name changed to protect her identity) was out of town. 

Between Scott wandering around the house with Robby squawking after him, Timmy locking himself in the bathroom and the image of Mr. Bill (a 76 year old man) using handcuffs with his girlfriend, my head was spinning.  I ended up consuming a bag of Hershey kisses for dinner as I waited for Scott's anesthesia confusion to wear off. He finally fell asleep around 7:30, waking only to request medication and water. Hopefully today my patient will actually rest or I may have to borrow those satin cuffs.

Update

The surgery went well and the patient is resting at home. He is groggy, but already bugging me for the return of his cell phone.  :)

Surgery Day

This morning I will pack up Scott and drive him to this dental surgery.  I am so grateful that Robby's teacher is opening up her home early for both Robby and Timmy, allowing me to concentrate fully on Scott when he needs me. I know that Timmy will not be happy being left, but I hope that having Robby with him will help to buffer his toddler fury.

Scott is petrified about his surgery. Employing logic is futile. While I don't understand his fears, I have come to accept that it is very real for him. Although he will be in pain, I know that he will feel better when the procedure is over and he can put this behind him.  Right now his fears of the unknown are paralyzing him.

It is sure to be a long day.  His surgery is at 8, and I will post an update after I have him home and tucked back into bed.