Pumpkins

I'm so glad that we were able to spend time earlier this week outside playing and riding our bikes. The weather was so gorgeous and it felt fantastic being in the fresh cool air. I love autumn! There is something invigorating about chillier temperatures and colorful falling leaves.

Unfortunately our good weather was short lived. Yesterday the remnants of the hurricane flew into our area, leaving us with torrential downpours and windy conditions. Rain, leaves and nuts were all falling at impressive rates. The rest of the weekend weather is forecast to be equally as miserable. It looks like we'll be camping out and playing inside (again) this weekend.

Hopefully the rain will break long enough for us to go to the pumpkin patch tonight. I joined the strawberry and pumpkin CSA last Spring through our local farm. Each week we received 10 pounds of strawberries when they were in season. Our plan also includes 100 pounds of pumpkins, which are ready for harvesting.

In order to comply with social distancing, the farm has opened appointment slots for pumpkin picking. Because we are in the CSA, we were provided the first slots. Rain or shine, we are heading to the pumpkin patch to claim our 100 pounds of pumpkins. 

I'm really looking forward to a quasi-traditional outing during these unconventional times!

Missing Our Places

 Much like the movie Groundhog Day, my life is becoming predictable and rather mundane. Social distancing, school and work obligations are keeping us at home. My goodness I miss our adventures! 

Yesterday was our first cool day of the season. I wish that I could have piled the kids into the car for an impromptu trip to our Animal Park. Instead, I knew I had to create something fun to do at home. Even though we are all busy, I knew that everybody would benefit from unplugging for a few hours.

In the end, we opted for a long bike ride through the neighborhood and a cake picnic by our swing set. It was nice to be in the fresh, cool air and sunshine. The kids seemed just as happy as they would have been at the Animal Park, so maybe I'm the only one who is missing our usual romps.

Story Time!

 Yesterday was busy. Between my work and assisting with schoolwork, I was moving from the time I woke up until late in the evening. The boys are starting to fall into a groove with school, but they still need oversight and assistance. Timmy, although he has stopped crying and fighting whenever I pull out the books, still requires direct instruction. 

Although it means that I don't have a lot of free time, I don't mind helping Timmy. His classwork is fun and I love being part of his unlocking the magic of words and learning. Every day he is making new discoveries. He is excited to learn and it is amazing to be part of it. Since he has stopped crying our class time has been smooth and enjoyable. Fingers crossed it keeps moving in this direction!

Yesterday Timmy participated in a virtual Zoom class with his peers. He was initially very shy but quickly warmed up and began to interact. I was proud that he attentively listened to his teacher read a story and then he carefully followed her directions to make an apple craft. 

While he was in his class I was able to sit back and watch him from the kitchen, allowing him some independence and the opportunity to learn with his classmates. I think that his virtual class experiences will increase over the next few weeks. As far as I see it, the virtual classes are a win-win for both of us. He is able to learn with peers while I'm afforded the luxury of time to work on other projects. 

 

 

Nutty

The weather is beginning to turn. The leaves are starting to gain some color and a few are even dropping.  I love this time of year, but it does not come without peril. Our driveway looks like it has been blanketed in hickory nuts. The squirrels love it, but I feel like I am one step away from a nasty fall.

Last October I fell in our yard and I limped for nearly six weeks. When I step on an uneven object, like a nut or rock, my ankle doesn't naturally accommodate. Instead, I am pitched off balance which, unfortunately, often results in a tumble.  Unfortunately, I haven't met an active amputee who has not fallen. It seems par for the course when you use a prosthesis.

I hate falling. Not only is it physically uncomfortable, but many times the emotional injury is more long lasting. Nothing makes me feel more vulnerable than falling because of my prosthesis!

I am not keen on another injury, so this year I'm being a little more proactive about our nutty situation. I've added sweeping all pathways to the chore wheel because I don't want to take any chances. Every season has its own dangers, and in the autumn, mine are nuts.

Fakers

I am frequently contacted by new amputees, or soon-to-be amputees, in search of information and mentoring. I'm always happy to lend and ear and my experience, mainly because I have never forgotten how alone and lost I felt after my amputation. When somebody emails me or sends a message looking for support, I do my best to answer immediately because I know how hard it is to make the first outreach.

Last week I was contacted by a new amputee through Instagram. I answered her initial query, prompting her to immediately write back with more questions. I spent at least three hours over two days exchanging messages and offering support. Initially nothing felt odd or seemed amiss.Slowly the blips on my radar started to increase in strength and frequency.

After the fourth request for a "stump photo," I was convinced that I had been pulled into a rouse. Why somebody would fake an amputation I will probably never understand. I don't know if it the thrill of pretending or the conquest of obtaining a limb photo that motivates these individuals. I do know that I feel scammed every single time I fall for their ploys. 

I spent the majority of Friday night angry at myself. I invest my time and my heart every single time I connect with a new amputee. I took time away from my kids and my other responsibilities because I wanted to help. I didn't deserve to be scammed by a faker.

 Today is September 11.

Yesterday my niece called me to help her on a school project. She needed to interview people who were alive during the September 11, 2001 attacks to glean their insights and stories. I was flabbergasted that an event that remains so vivid in my memories has become the topic for a school history project. How has so much time passed since that horrible day?

Like everybody else my age and older, I will never forget the events of September 11. That day shaped and transformed all of us. I remember feeling overwhelmed, frightened and vulnerable. As time passed and more information emerged, I remember feeling both patriotic and angry. I did my best to convey my experiences to my niece, but I am certain that I will never find the words to recreate such a pivotal event in my life. 

When Robby was born I struggled with how I was going to educate him about September 11 without causing undo fear and anxiety. After some thought, I decided it was best to focus on the humanity and the heroes that emerged during the tragedy. When he was a few months old, I strapped him to my chest and we baked cookies to deliver to our local fire department.

As Robby grew older, I began to reveal more about the significance of September 11. Timmy has joined our tradition, and now baking cookies for the firehouse is an annual event. Both boys know about the planes and the deaths. But they also know about the heroes and the helpers. More than feeling fear and anger, I hope that they will always demonstrate gratitude on this anniversary.

Robby is now 14 years old, and yesterday we baked our 15th batch of September 11 cookies. As he was mixing the dough, I again was struck by the passage of time. My goodness, where has the time gone?

Zooming

Another day and more rain. Ugh! I'm so tired of the dreary weather. The glimpses of sunshine over the weekend teased my senses, leaving me more frustrated as the skies have greyed over the past few days. Social distancing, which stinks under the best circumstances, has been made considerably more difficult when we haven't been able to play outside.

Timmy has spent his afternoons zooming around the house on his scooter and push bike. He zips around so quickly that I constantly find myself jumping to hug the wall to avoid a collision. Despite our warnings to slow down and to be careful, he is a little daredevil. So far he has avoided injury. We are knocking on wood that this trend continues because, as I tell him on a daily basis, this is a lousy time to end up in the emergency room.

I am feeling increasingly frustrated about the pandemic and those who are disregarding the precautions. Sometimes it feels like we are alone in our concerns. Every time I see my friends post photos of themselves out with large groups of friends with nobody wearing a mask I feel like screaming. There is little doubt about it, I need to reset my perspective if I'm going to maintain my sanity. 

I just wish I knew where to begin.