Rough Housing

Yesterday I sprung Robby from school a little early so that we could enjoy the fabulous fall weather at the farm. Before the judging starts, know that the early dismissal had the blessing of his teacher. His school values off campus experiences and encourages families to participate in and enjoy community resources.  This educational philosophy is one of the many reasons that Scott and I have chosen this school for Robby. 

Both boys love our weekly farm visits. Robby because he thoroughly enjoys visiting the animals and playing on the various structures and amusements. Timmy simply delights in spending time outside with his big brother. Usually content to tag along behind, pure joy emanates from Hamlet on those rare occasions when his brother actually plays with him instead of just next to him.

Unfortunately, rough housing with a toddler is vastly different than rough housing with another 9 year old.  Timmy doesn't realize that his brother is being rough and smiles through the pain inflicted simply because he is happy for the attention.  Robby doesn't appreciate that he is being too rough because Timmy continues to smile and giggle. I end up standing on the sidelines squawking for Robby to calm it down and play nice. This cycle typically continues until either Robby becomes bored and finds a new activity, I intervene or Timmy becomes hurt. 

Yesterday our fun farm visit ended with me dabbing blood off of the tip of Timmy's nose. Despite my constant warnings to calm down the play, my littlest guy ended up getting hurt on the jumping pillow. It is just a brush burn injury, but hopefully drawing blood will serve as a reminder for Robby to heed my warnings.  Thankfully, his pain was quickly soothed by a few pushes on the swing and feeding the goats. 

Update on the Medicare Proposal

I wanted to provide a quick update on the Medicare proposal that would significantly impact access to lower limb prosthetics. My life, and those of my friends and colleagues, was consumed by this issue throughout the  month of August. As soon as the deadline for comments passed and the calendar changed the entire community has been existing in a holding pattern. 

As it stands right now, nothing official has transpired. CMS and Medicare are not obligated to modify the proposal based upon the hearing and comments submitted, but most of the key players agree that changes will be made by committee members. Rescinding the proposal entirely and starting from scratch is a long shot. It isn't a matter of if the proposal will be enacted, but rather how detrimental the final version will be on accessing lower limb prosthetics. 

I am an eternal optimist and remain hopeful that the most horrific aspects of the proposal will be removed from the final version. If I were to bet, I would lay my money on the elimination of a natural gait requirement as well as the restrictions based upon the utilization of other mobility aids. I suspect that the other aspects of the proposal will be adopted with slight modifications. 

There is no timeline for CMS to act upon their proposal. They can release their final draft today, next month or they can decide to sit upon it indefinitely. The absence of a definitive deadline is frustrating for everybody who rallied and worked tirelessly on this effort.  In some ways we are all in a holding pattern, just waiting to learn our fate.

Our petition to the White House met the minimum required for a response within 17 days. I am extraordinarily proud that ours is the only disability oriented petition to ever meet the threshold required for a response. The community rallied behind the petition and our #NotALuxury movement, forcing the White House to respond to our concerns. We expect to receive a response by the middle of October.

Of course, meeting the requirements for  response and rescinding the proposal are two entirely different things. We do not know what the White House response will look like, nor is Medicare obligated to consider their input when making a decision.  Again, we are caught in a nerve wracking waiting pattern. 

If you haven't yet contacted your elected officials concerning this issue, I encourage you to do so. We need to keep pushing this issue and fight to keep the concerns of the community in the forefront of this fight. Rest assured that I am staying on top of this issue and that I will keep everybody apprised of any developments in this blog.

Exhaustion

Yesterday was not my best day. Timmy woke up obscenely early. By 3:15 he was out of his crib and running around the house, activating every musical toy while breaking out into a dance. I tried to convince him to go back to sleep but I could tell by his energy that he was raring to go. Watching him jump on his trampoline while trying to sing along to his Leap toys, I knew I was going to be putting my coffee maker through its paces. 

By lunchtime I was spent and the near constant flow of caffeine was merely keeping me upright.  Timmy was still going strong, happily playing and creating as much mischief as possible. I was struggling to keep up with my high energy toddler. When I become overly tired I become emotional and depressed, which explains why I was crying while pushing him on his swing set.

At one point I decided that allowing him to unroll the toilet paper through the living room was worth the few moments of quiet rest that the activity afforded.  Unfortunately when the roll was completely unwound the freshly papered living room only contributed to my feeling overwhelmed. I decided to leave the mess.  When Robby came home from school I offered him "a whole quarter" to clean it up. He happily accepted the job and, if you ask me, I made out on the deal. 

Timmy slept better last night and didn't wake me up this morning until almost 5. I'm feeling better and my sleep deprived depression has lifted. I'm hoping that today is going to be a better day!

Part of the Group

For the first time since Robby began school five years ago I actually feel comfortable around the parents of his classmates. Being involved in his life, through whatever avenue necessary, has always been a priority. Despite my efforts to forge friendly relationships with the other parents, I have habitually felt like an outsider.

I suspect that my feelings of being ostracized are probably equal part reality and perception. I have almost a decade on the majority of the other parents. Other than our kids, I just don't really know what I'm supposed to talk about with them. Typically my conversation fodder runs out after five minutes, leaving awkward stumbling and silence until I can figure out how to escape.

If I were to be completely honest, I also feel different from the other moms because of my disability. The fact that I utilize a prosthetic leg is well known and quite obvious. While I'm not ashamed of my amputation, I continue to struggle with feelings of isolation because of it. I can't hide the fact that I look "different" than all of the younger (and considerably perkier) moms.  When I am in a social situation with other parents, I tend to retreat which only intensifies the feelings of not belonging.

While I love chaperoning Robby's field trips, part of me always dreads the forced socializing. Last Friday, while Robby was chomping at the bit to spend the day at the Battlefield with his friends, I was trying to mentally prepare for a day of awkward and forced conversation. Thankfully my worries were for naught because I actually enjoyed talking with the parents who came on our field trip.

I'm not sure if I am more confident or if this group of parents is different, but I felt comfortable and part of the group. I didn't experience the feeling of being isolated from the parent clique. Instead, our conversations flowed organically and comfortably. I actually think I could be friends with these people outside of school!  Who knows, this may be the first year I don't dread taking Robby to birthday parties.

Field Trip Day

I have an excited little Koopa this morning. He woke up early and has been chomping at the bit to go to school since he moseyed out of bed. I tried to convince him to go back to sleep until the sun rose, but my efforts were in vain. I suppose I understand his enthusiasm. I remember how excited I used to feel on field trip days.

Today Robby's class is going to the Manassas Battlefield. Needless to say, he is thrilled. He spent about an hour last night with Mr. Bill, reviewing the Battlefield and absorbing as much knowledge as possible. (Mr. Bill is our resident expert on the Civil War. I venture to guess that he knows as much about the history of the Battlefield as the Park Rangers who will be leading our tour.)

It seems that the weather is going to cooperate, providing us with a gorgeous day to spend outside. I'm happy that I'm able to help to chaperon the trip and I'm looking forward to spending the day with Robby and his friends.  Although he won't understand the tour, I suspect that Timmy is going to have a fabulous day as well. He relishes spending time with the "big kids" and will be thrilled to be part of the excitement.

Happy Friday- Happy Field Trip Day!

Jumping Pillow

For the past five months, every Wednesday we have packed up and headed to our CSA farm. We pick up our weekly box of freshly picked veggies, climb onto the tractor to go into the fields to help harvest whatever is ripe, and spend some time playing on the massive playground.  No matter how hectic our schedules have become, we all look forward to our weekly trips to "our farm."

Over the summer we have enjoyed nearly every feature of the sprawling farm. From fishing to climbing, I have done almost everything with the boys. The only thing that I haven't done with the boys is play and bounce on the giant jumping pillow.

Going inside a bounce house is within my comfort zone. In fact, Timmy and I bounce almost every day. I have found that it is a great way for him to expel some energy while I reap the benefits of a full body workout. Nothing tires him out for a nap more than going jumping with me.

The jumping pillow, although still centered around the same activity, is completely different than a bounce house. Instead of a step to enter, the sides are sloped. Whereas the bounce house is flat, the pillow is essentially a giant bubble. The curves have always intimidated me and have served to keep me grounded.

Unfortunately for Timmy, he has always been a forced observer rather than participant on the jumping pillow. Yesterday, I cold tell that he really wanted to jump with his brother. Wanting him to have fun, I decided that it was time for me to try. I scooped him out of his stroller and carefully walked with him onto the top of the pillow.

Although it wasn't the easiest climb, I made it to the top! My little Hamlet was beyond happy to be bouncing with his big brother. I'm sure that his squeals and giggles could be heard across the farm. We bounced, played and laughed until we were sweaty and tired.

I am so happy that I was able to conquer the jumping pillow. Like so many things, my own fears turned out to be the true obstacle.  Climbing to the top of the pillow wasn't the easiest thing, but the view from the top (my two happy boys playing together) was well worth the effort!

Dent Repair

Even though it has been more than 24 hours, I continue to feel shaken by the encounter with the deer. I keep replaying the incident, trying to figure out if I did something wrong. Of course I know that it would have been impossible to miss the darting deer, but that reality is doing little to soothe my frazzled nerves. Instead of focusing on the accident, I am trying to count our blessings. I was upset when I saw the imprint of the deer bum on the hood of my SUV, but it could have been far worse.

Yesterday afternoon Mr. Bill showed up at my front door, carrying two pieces of wood and a hammer.  He instructed me to pop the hood on the SUV, which I did without question. I learned a long time ago to not question Mr. Bill when he is set on a project. I didn't know what he was planning, but I knew enough to realize that I wasn't going to stop him. 

After inspecting the crumpled hood from a variety of angles, he put his lit cigarette on top of our trash can before putting a 2x4 slightly above the biggest indentation. After he was content with its location, he began to hit it with the hammer.  After a few good whacks he removed the wood and put the cigarette back in his mouth.  He moved around the car and repeated the process three more times. 

When he was done, all of the major dents were removed from the hood. I can still see a slight bubble from the incident, but all other remnants were literally beaten away. I'm delighted that the only evidence of our run in with the deer are a few rogue hairs caught in the grill and some bad memories.