Demons

The roads are icy today but I am optimistic that the temperatures will warm up through the morning. I have a full calendar of chauffering in front of me. It has dawned on me that I am doing considerably more driving Robby to and fro classes, clubs, and hangouts than I did when he was in a conventional school. Every day he has something, sometimes two or three, activities scheduled. Even though I find it overwhelming at times, I know that he is happier than ever in the new setting.

Scott is off school today, an anticipated absence due to a dental appointment. I feel bad because his dental phobia is in full swing. I know that he is anxious and scared and there is nothing that I can do to help. Reminding him that he is going to be okay is perceived as dismissive, and doing any more than acknowledging his anxiety will feed into the cycle.  

Whatever I do to try to help him, it is wrong. I suppose this is how he must feel when I am in the middle of a panic attack. When I am feeling anxious and panicked, nothing he can say or do can minimize the feelings. I never before realized how helpless he must feel when I am struggling.  Unfortunately, some demons must be battled alone.  

Ice

Another week begins with school cancelations. Our driveway and yard are shimmering under a thick coat of ice. I don't know how much ice has accumulated, and I have no intention of venturing outside to find out. I abhor ice and avoid walking in those conditions whenever possible. Today will be spent inside, enjoying the glistening from my windows and playing with the boys.  

Saturday was cold but clear, allowing us the opportunity to take Timmy to one of his favorite playgrounds. My little buddy ran, climbed, played and jumped for nearly five hours. He made "buddies" with a revolving flow of kids who arrived for and left after other parties. I wish making friends was as easy for me as it is for him!  

Sunday I continued my organizing efforts by tackling a few more cabinets and drawers in my kitchen. I continue to be amazed by the amount of junk, trash, and donatable goods I have accumulated. I find the decluttering to be both satisfying and overwhelming. When I look at the entirety of the project it feels insurmountable. Instead, I'm trying to just focus on mini goals. One cabinet at a time on a consistent basis, and hopefully the house will be purged by the end of the year.  

I'm hoping to finish the kitchen today. Because we have ice and not snow, Timmy will have to entertain himself inside. Hopefully he will be happy building a train, allowing me the opportunity to focus on my own project.

Play and Rest

In an effort to find an activity that would both entertain Timmy and allow me to rest, I packed him up yesterday and took him to the Animal Park. He squealed with delight as we drove into the parking lot. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that it was a young Robby strapped into his car seat! The enthusiasm and love for the Animal Park are shared between the brothers.

Timmy took off running into the climbing structure as soon as we arrived. Thankfully he located some buddies, aka children about his age, and I was able to assume my position on the bench. While he ran, climbed, squealed with delight and played until he was a sweaty little mess, I was able to rest. I think we both got exactly what we needed out of the adventure for the day.

I'm feeling better today. Hopefully by the weekend, the last remnants of the cold will lift and I will be able to resume organizing my house. With me being on the injured reserve list for a few days, it feels like all of my tidying efforts from the past weekend were erased.

Bleh Part 2

Yesterday I was strictly in Momom survival mode. Feeling lethargic from the virus and annoyed with the constant sniffles and coughs, I struggled to keep up with Timmy. My hopes of him playing quietly (and without destruction) waned as the day wore on. By late afternoon he was in full-blown Timmy the Terrible mode, jumping off furniture and showcasing his rolling skills wherever possible.

Even though I would like nothing more than staying in my pajamas while sipping on a mug of lemon tea all day, I need to get dressed and venture into society to save my sanity (and perhaps my possessions.) Timmy has an abundance of energy and he needs to run and play. If I don't want my little Tornado of Destruction to start spiraling, I will need to do something to tucker him out.

Since Scott has back-to-school night meetings through the evening, I am on my own with the boys today. Because I don't have the energy to keep up with him, I'm going to opt for a playland with a comfortable couch. Hopefully, he will find buddies and run and play for hours, allowing me to relax in my role as spectator.

Bleh

The cruds have settled in, leaving me feel bleh and worn out.  This is one of those days here I envy my friends who live closer to their families. It would be nice to be able to call my Mom and ask her to watch the kids so I could take a nap and rest. I'm not sick enough to call in reinforcements so I'm going to muddle through while doing my best to encourage quiet activities at home.  

Wish me luck, because Timmy is feeling energetic and ready to take on the world!

Cold

Last week the outside temperature never reached beyond single digits. Today we are flirting with 70 degrees. With these crazy fluctuations, it isn't surprising that both Scott and I have colds. Because we are parents, we don't get sick days. Instead, we are miserably functional.

Both boys were feeling icky last week, so it was only a matter of time before the cruds infected Scott and me. Considering that last year at this time both boys were fighting the flu, I consider the common cold benign. I feel crappy, but I'm (sadly) accustomed to running on a half engine.

I'm hoping to take full advantage of the warm temperatures by taking the boys to the park this afternoon. After Robby's done with art, I'm planning on surprising everybody by going through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A for lunch. Only instead of going home, we will go to the park for a picnic. Hopefully the DayQuil will be working and I'll be able to enjoy myself!

Tidying Up

I think it is safe to say that I am fully onboard the tidying up bandwagon. After being frustrated with the overflow of clutter and crap, Friday night I streamed Tidying Up on Netflix. I was inspired after the first episode. While everybody else (except Hamlet)were sleeping Saturday, I woke up inspired and ready to work.

After surveying my home I decided to begin the purge in my kitchen, which tends to be the hub of the house. I'm frustrated by never being able to locate what I need, and I am tired of ducking every time I open the top cabinet for fear of the roasting pans falling on my head. Following the lead from the show, I started easy (or so I thought) and went through my spices.

I was aghast to discover that I had spices which expired in 1998. This means that they have moved with me at least three times since they had expired! I cleaned out my spice cabinet and two drawers which were overflowing with bottles and bags of various sizes. Four hours later I was finished and had consolidated my spices to two neatly organized and clean drawers. 

My tidying up project naturally snowballed through the weekend. After I cleaned through my spices I discovered that I had a completely empty cabinet in the corner of my kitchen. When I organized my decorating and baking supplies I had created even more space in another corner. By the time the sun set on Sunday, I had removed four large landscaper trashbags overflowing with garbage and filled three boxes for donation. 

After working through the weekend, I have cleaned exactly half of my kitchen. During the process a few things have begun crystal clear. First of all, organizing reduces my anxiety. Secondly, as a family, we have accumulated way too much stuff. I have given myself the lofty goal of tidying up our entire house. I am also realistic and have provided myself the timeline of completing the job by New Year's Eve. If I do it correctly, it will probably take me all year.