Ant Tsunami

Yesterday is one of those days that will become infamous in our family. I didn't anticipate a memory-making day, but sometimes the universe just aligns. Unfortunate for me, yesterday will probably be retold for generations.

After days of heavy rain, the weather was finally clear and comfortable. While Scott was working on the chimney (which is still leaking), I took the opportunity to take Friend on a long walk. On our way back into our neighborhood, I stopped to pick up the mail. Because of the weather, I haven't picked up the mail in several days. (Our mailbox is approximately 1/4 mile from our house).

I opened up the mailbox and saw a few ants on a package. No big deal. I blew them off, bundled the mail in my arms before Friend and I headed back home. We took about 5 steps when I was overcome with pain in my arms. My arms were covered with thousands of tiny black-biting ants. 

 

The ants were pouring out of my mail bundle. They were scurrying faster the more I tried to wipe them off. They were quickly moving up my neck and down my cleavage. For little faces, they have a nasty bite! I felt like I had stepped into a horror movie. I threw the mail and I began to run.

 

Or, at least I tried to run. The ant tsunami was too much. I ripped off my dress off and ditched it (along with several thousand ants) in an attempt to get rid of the bugs. 

 

It turns out I wasn't wearing a bra. I wasn't planning on streaking down my little road. Yet there I was, living the dream. I had become a one-legged "soft" framed middle-aged woman, awkwardly trotting naked down her road while frantically wailing and brushing her arms and neck all while screaming wildly vulgar expletives. 

 

Who knew ants could cause so much pain and embarrassment?

Excuse?

The weather this past weekend did not cooperate with my "relax and play outside" plans. Instead of blue skies and a bright sun, we received dark skies and torrential rain. Oh well. We played board games and watched movies instead of riding bikes and picking wild berries. We had fun, so that is all that matters.

When I wasn't busy with the kids I was binging Breaking Bad while working on some projects. I have seen the entire series at least six times, yet I find myself stopping to watch whenever it is on TV. The quiet days allowed me to get ahead, which I know I will appreciate as new summer adventures unfold. 

A new week is starting, although I'm the only one in the family who seems to be functioning under the parameters of a calendar. There is no doubt that the boys, including Scott, are all on vacation mode. They wake whenever they want, do what they want throughout the day and enjoy their time off. With no real responsibilities, it's easy to lose track of the days. 

Or perhaps I'm just making an excuse for them.

Splashing

 Today I'm breaking out of my summer schedule by doing something fun for myself. I'm going to be spending the day with my friend, walking around our old college campus and catching up. I have missed being with friends, and today's visit is overdue. I've been looking forward to relaxing and reminiscing with my friend since we scheduled our visit a few weeks ago. 

While I'm revisiting the 90's, my mom and Timmy will be swimming. I know my little water bug has missed having his pool. He has been looking forward to an afternoon of splashing and jumping in the water. I have no doubt that he will have a blast and that he won't miss me at all. (I'm sure both Timmy and my Mom will sleep well tonight.)

Have a great day!

Slippery

 I would describe my new leg as functional and okay. It isn't the slip-in-and-forget-it socket that I have had in the past. Now I have to layer socks before I take my first step in the morning which I find frustrating and inconvenient. After my careful layering, I am usually comfortable until the heat of the day arrives. When I start to sweat, the leg becomes wonky and my fit struggles begin.

My suspension system, the way in which the prosthesis attaches to my limb, becomes compromised when I sweat. After the seal is broken by my liner slipping my prosthesis is no longer securely attached. I am forced to slow down and walk deliberately to avoid walking out of my device altogether. Talk about both inconvenient and dangerous. Walking Friend through the yard with a poorly attached leg is definitely an exercise in caution.

I have to remove and don the liner again in order for the seal to engage. This isn't an issue at home, but it becomes more difficult when it is necessary in public spaces. I miss being able to forget that I'm wearing a prosthesis. It is only the beginning of July, yet I am already tired of the summer slippery socket.

Laid Back Holiday

Our Fourth of July was laid back and entirely uneventful. I spent the heat of the afternoon working while the boys watched television and played video games. Without our pool, being outside just isn't a lot of fun. I cannot even count the number of times I have missed our pool over the past few days. 

Our summer is certainly lacking the energy that we had last year, but our driveway simply cannot handle the weight of the water for another season. As much as I don't want to admit that he was right, Scott accurately predicted the damage to our asphalt. Our driveway is slightly slanted from our pool last year. Another year would only intensify the damage. 

So, until we figure out a new location we are pool-free. My goodness I miss it! Hopefully we will figure out a solution by next year. In the meantime, this is the summer of inside fun.

In the evening we ventured outside to play and to pick the wild raspberries. The temperature was tolerable but the mosquitos were out in force. Despite wearing bug spray and citronella stickers, we were forced to retreat from the the relentless blood suckers. I suppose one benefit of wearing a prosthetic is that my left left always remains bite free. I realize that is probably stretching to discover a positive, but I'm going to grasp for it right now.

Hopefully the hot temperatures are supposed to wane in the coming days. I'm looking forward to being outside without immediately melting. I'm not made for this summer heat!

Ampuversary #19

 Yesterday marked 19 years since my amputation. I am astounded that nearly two decades has passed since that difficult day. While it feels like, and it many ways has been, a lifetime, in some ways it feels like just yesterday. The memories, when I allow them to visit, remain strong. 

I would prefer to celebrate my Walking Day instead of my Ampuversary, but the latter always creeps into my mind on July 3. Regardless of attempting to fight them back, the memories always flow. I have learned to give into the reminiscing because fighting it only results in more frustration. Yesterday was no exception.

I woke up early, sat on the couch and allowed my mind to wander. I ended up crying, grieving for the experience and for the young woman who had been forever changed. I love my life and I can't imagine living it with both biological legs. But my life today does not resemble the life I had planned. Sitting on the couch with Friend on my lap, I ended up crying for what I had lost.

After a good cry and a cup of coffee, I was able to push the memories of July 3 away. I spent the remainder of the day trying to forget the anniversary. When the thoughts did creep into my mind, I made the decision to focus on my accomplishments instead of my losses. It is easy to focus on the positives when my mind is no longer cluttered by the grief.  After my morning cry, I had a fantastic Ampuversary.

Same Roof

 It is wonderful to have everybody waking up under the same roof. Luggage is strewn through the living room and bedrooms and souvenirs are littering the kitchen table.  Sleep schedules and meal times are wonky because of the time change, but I know that will sort out quickly. I am also perfectly aware that I will probably be wishing for more space and quiet in a few days, but for right now I am content with the chaos. 

The boys had a fabulous adventure. I have thoroughly enjoyed looking at their photos and hearing their stories.  What they experienced was transformative and they both emerged from their adventure changed. It is one thing to learn about the battles and the holocaust. Standing in that hallowed ground is something completely different. 

With everybody back home, we will slowly settle into our summer schedule. Laundry will be attacked over the weekend, and slowly all of the souvenirs will be put in their new homes. In the meantime, I'm just going to enjoy hearing the sounds of everybody being together.